Magic Kingdom we're finally here!

    Ok so from the monorail, we raced to the gate to the entrance of the Magic Kingdom. Crowds weren't too bad honestly, at least to what I had expected. They were however, still pretty crowded. Once we got passed security we got to the entrance gate, with a wave of our magic band, and a scan of our finger we were admitted into Main street USA area of the park. This area was probably the most crowded due to it's the only way in or our of the park, so it was quite contested. Our first stop was City Hall to see Guests Relations about getting the DAS card (Disability Assistive Service card) once we got in the process was honestly super fast they took my name, asked how many was in party and printed out my card and explained how it would work. Basically you go to an attraction and find a cast member who will write down a return time based on the standby line, you go and do something else until your return time, then when you come back you go through the fast pass line. Having that down we then went next door to the Fire Station, to get some Sorcerers of the Magic kingdom trading cards, each guest is allowed one pack per day (sadly we didn't get to actually play the game due to just never getting around to it).

    Now with most everything done in Main Street we headed towards the central hub, along the way we tried to get a photo, but at last min had to get off the street due to the Parade. We chilled and watched it as it passed seeing who we wouldn't have gotten far trying to go ahead.  We voted on getting the photo later when the parade was gone and the crowds started to thin, and ducked into the Emporium and raced our way through the shop bypassing all the crowds. Finally our of Main street and heading towards Frontier land I noticed the crowds were better still there but not as congested. We had a fast pass+ for splash mountain but I decided for us to by pass it real quick and to head over to Big Thunder Mountain where we used the disability card. The cast member was super friendly, and once we had our return time we made our way back to splash mountain.  Once we got back to the fast pass line for splash mountain we were greeted and had to wait only a few minutes before they let us in where I parked the scooter, and had to walk a little ways to the ride. The cast member was awesome he even gave us a paper fast pass for any return time for Splash Mountain. we got the front of the boat! The ride itself was super fun, and it was the perfect time of day to ride. I explained the storyline to Triston so that he sorta understood what exactly was going on. He seemed to enjoy it, though he didn't get that wet, I on the other hand was soaked all on my right side.

    Once we got off the ride we looked at the time and it was already time for us to go ride Big Thunder Mountain, so off we went. Once we got there we got to go through the disability entrance where we parked my scooter. Once again we chatted with a cast member and this guy was awesome he gave us another paper fast pass but it was good for ANY attraction! This is one of my favorite thrill rides in Magic Kingdom so I was excited. Once again we had virtually no wait time, and were ushered onto the ride, this time we were on the back of the ride, which is the best since it gets the most bumps! It lived up to all I had been anticipating! There were some great views from of the park both of our first two rides. 

   Once getting balance back we made our way and grabbed my scooter, and tried to decide where we would head next. The next FastPass+ was for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train but, we had a little time to kill. We made our way to Fantasy Land so we'd at least be in the right area. after checking the my disney experience app we saw Mickeys PhilharMagic only had a ten minute wait. So we had a choice for what the next DAS card would be used for it came down to Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, or Peter Pans Flight. I told him I couldn't really explain it but, Pooh had a really cool scene in it so we needed up walking over to it, and getting a return time. Triston on the way to PhilharMagic grabbed a coke to drink. Once in it was a little bit of a wait but not bad as we were first in line by the door. I think he enjoyed it. It's a great little movie that reaches all your senses. Love the aladdin scene. 

    Once we were out of that it was time for our next Fast Pass+ Seven dwarfs Mine Train a new edition to the Magic Kingdom that I had been anticipating! While I sincerely loved it it was very similar to Big Thunder Mountain, just different scenery. As for the scenery it was very well detailed, and its nice they put Snow White back in the park after taking away her previous attraction. Once we got off that ride and found our ay out it was time for Pooh. I could tell Triston was a little unsure of this choice as it does appear to be a kiddy ride, but hey it's a classic. The minute we hit the Mirror room I knew he liked it though. Like I said it's hard to explain but something about it is really cool for such a short ride.

    After that we went and used the DAS card again and got a return time for Peter Pans Flight, with me only saying that the London scene was really my favorite of the ride. Having some time to kill i thought now would be a good time for photos!

    So I traced back to the castle and found the rose garden where they have a stationed area for photos that has the castle in the perfect position. Took me a little while to find it I'm sad to admit, but once I did was super glad. the Photographer was sweet, and I noticed that once we were done people had seen us and a huge line had formed. While we tried to make our way out we bumped into my friend Samantha (what are the odds?!). We chatted with her a little while the crowds were starting to annoy her. However, she said she had better day before this particular park as she was going to more than we had. While we still had some time to kill We had planned on going to Meet Peter Pan in the park something I've never managed and, was hoping for, but we still had time before we did that as well, as we had tried to meet him when it was posted. Say the time was wrong, and we we were told to come back. Triston saw the Carousel of Progress and thought it looked cool so we hoped into it seeing how it had no lines. It was fun, an timing would have worked out great.. if we hadn't gotten stuck and had to rematch the first scene a second time lol. I know we were both holding our breaths when it was over wondering if we were gonna move ha. Once we were out we had missed our chance for Meeting Peter due to he was a good ways away. We made our way for his ride instead. This was another classic Disney ride and, hopefully he enjoyed it.

    I was getting hungry about now, and I think he was too so we made our way to new FantasyLand for our reservations at Be Our Guest (A reservation I got by pure luck, and countless tries). We passed it and looked around the gift shop by Gastons tavern, and eventually made our way into the Tavern so he could sit and we just chilled a little while waiting for our reservation time. Once it was close enough we went back to the Bridge entrance and checked in they gave us a pager and before we knew it we were being ushered in, the doors closing behind us. We got to eat in the ballroom with the chandeliers that looked right out of the movie. Honestly we got the most perfect table it was by the huge windows overseeing the falling snow and right beside the huge christmas tree, we really lucked out on the table. Everything was really fancy I had seen some pictures online but I honestly didn't know what to expect, it was really nice. Our waitress brought our drinks and rolls, with the best butter I've ever had (seriously). Once we ordered we really just chatted and caught up with each other some. Was nice.  Then apparently ever so often the Beast makes an entrance and walks through the dining rooms, showing his presence. Our food was brought out I had ordered salmon, and he had got sea scallops I think. Whatever he got he said it was great, which with my own order I had to agree. Finally it was time for dessert. The waitress brought the trolly over and explained what each was Triston asked her what the Gray stuff was, and she grinned and replied "its delicious just ask the dishes". I chose the gay stuff, he chose an eclair he tried a bite of mine curiosity over the gray stuff over chocolate brownie tart. It was good but we both agreed it was very similar to whipped cream lol. I tried a bite of eclair, never have had one before. Now i can sincerely say I like them ha. I could tell it was getting chilly so after the meal we had agreed to rush back to the room to grab coats, but first we git a picture at our table by the window and tree. Then on our way out we got to meet the Master of the castle the Beast. I wasn't worried if we missed our space mountain fast pass since we had the paper one good for anything as a back up.

    Getting out of the Magic Kingdom was so hard literally couldn't move trying to get out. We agreed main street pic would be better when we came back. Finally we were back on the monorail heading back to our resort. While we were heading to the resort we got a monorail view of the firework show it was honestly perfect timing. That is a good thing about the resort being so close to the park makes for easy quick trips if you need something. Once we had all we needed from the room we made our way back to the park lol. only enough getting in was easier than getting out was. We noticed that we had lost the DAS card, so we tried to make our way back to city hall to get a new one, but was delayed due to electrical parade, finally though we made it and they were super understanding and got a new one right away back outside we just hung out and watched the parade.

    Now that we were all ready we made our way to TomorrowLand of the park we saw Stitch great escape had no wait so we got in standby line I knew he'd enjoy this ride and I think I was correct. I personally love Stitch so his ride is always fun. after we went ahead and got a DAS for Space  Mountain. then went back and used our paper fast pass. It was a long walk to be honest, i had never ridden it before so I was surprised at how far you had to walk to get to the ride. Finally we made it they gave me the front seat. Let me be honest I was nervous ha. It turned out to be a blast! Not as bad as I had imagined it to be. Once we were off we went back to the fast pass line this time I had him push me (bless him) honestly don't think I could have made it without any kind of help.  We noticed though that the wheelchair line once you got to the ride was really slow, they only do so many chairs at a time so we needed up waiting 20 min when standby was 10. This time we switched seats (picture was much better of me this time around the first time i looked scared ha). It was getting late and I could tell he was tired.  We found a place to rest and he had another coke, we decided on skipping splash mountain since it was so chilly and it would be our last ride, and we decided on Big Thunder Mountain, and then getting some pictures on main street with our ears. When we got to the ride the Cast member didn't even ask for our book after we told him we wanted return time he told us jut to go ahead and get in line now! This ride is totally one you should always do twice one during the day and one at night. Just really cool experience. 

    Finally we slowly made our way to Main street watching out for the Parades. I ran into the shops and looked around some and got myself a Stitch shirt that I had seen a lot throughout the trip. Finally we got our main street castle pic! I was thrilled, after we started making our way to the exit we noticed it was snowing!

    Finally it was time to say goodbye to the Magic Kingdom, we boarded the monorail, and made our way back to the room. Honestly we got a lot done in one day. Hopefully I didn't push him too hard lol. Tomorrow we head back home, leaving behind this magical place. I have to say this has been a memorable trip, and honestly one of the best I've ever had. I'll be a little sad when it's over, but it was such a good trip, an to get to spend it with such a great friend made it all the better.  Well better try and get a little bit of sleep lol, or at least try not to wake up anyone else. 

MPS SPIRIT Confrence

    Today was the SPIRIT conference, which is basically a meeting solely for young adults with MPS related diseases. Waking up before seven AM was starting to get old, and honestly I was a little jealous that Triston got to sleep in while I had to start getting ready. However, I finally rolled out of bed and started getting dressed. Once we finally found where we were supposed to go mom, and I started to eat some breakfast, a nice toasted cheesy egg croissant and yogurt, from the buffet. Sadly we learned a few minutes later that we were in the wrong room. Luckily we didn't get in trouble, but we did finish our food and rush to the right room.

    I said goodbye to mom as this was for the young adults only, Samantha my friend from California was co moderating some of the discussions we'd be having. Starting off it was basically the usual introduce yourself bit, which was nice getting to know so many people that share something with you. Then we discussed how the conference had been, and I think we all agreed we wanted the SPIRIT part to be more towards the beginning so people had more time to hang out, and do things with each other. Another note is that there should be more meetings focused on us, the young adults. For so many years the conferences were for the families and children suffering from MPS. Well thanks to God, and new medical breakthroughs we are getting older. So, now we need things more focused on us in our adult phase.

    We then split into two groups for discussion one for relationships, and one for real world experiences. I stuck with Samantha in relationships. We discussed friends, family, and some love interest. How it's not easy making friends at times, and how we feel like a burden to those we care about at times. I think these meetings are also good because some people feel safe dumping the struggles holding them down knowing that they are safe to do so.

    Finally our last discussion we got back as a whole group and just reviews the highlights from each previous conversation. We ended with a group picture and made our way to lunch. Normally the meeting is longer but due to disney they shortened it giving people time for parks. When we were out I checked my phone and triston had let me know he was having lunch with some family that lived nearby and would be back soon. I let mom know we were having lunch and she got there pretty fast ha. While we ate they gave us our free tickets which I linked up to hers, and David's (step dad) magic bands.
    After I ate, I ran off back to the room to change, and write this post. I'm also planning on hitting the gift shops in the main building of resort while I wait for Triston to get back from his lunch (still needing to get a few gifts before this trip is over). Then after he gets here Magic Kingdom here we come!

   

Meeting, meeting (disney) and meetings

    Ok so yesterday was really pretty much epic! Today though we have a lot of MPS conference activities. So after we all got up and started to get ready we made our way to the breakfast area. Once we sat down we got to chatting with a fellow MPS society member who was actually from the UK (I believe). It was their first Family conference. Shortly after the meetings started.
    First thing was the Welcome which was only about fifteen minutes. The first meeting we saw was hosted by Dr. Muenzer (This is the man who led the clinical study on the drug that helps keep me alive), and it went over Potential new therapies and treatments for the different forms of MPS, they are currently looking at ways to enhance performance of my treatment for patients with mental problems, and the need to get past the blood brain barrier, and they have some upcoming trials in motion.
    The following meeting was updates on research led by Dr. Matthew Ellinwood, and in my opinion it expanded a little more on the research parts of MPS, while still explaining the need for future therapies.
   Then we listened in on the Orthopedic issues meeting led by Dr. William Makenzie. Honestly it wasn't exactly what I was expecting. When it started dealing with MPS2 though it did mention the carpal tunnel hand surgeries, even showed a picture of the hands cut open (I'd never seen that part..). I guess I was hoping on info as to what I can do to further improve.  Got remember just how far I've come already though.
    So after three meetings and getting up at seven am I decided to sneak out and have a little break. I grabbed triston, and we made our way to the bus stop. We were headed to Downtown Disney for a very important errand, and grab some lunch. While waiting for our bus he was a lifesaver and dug out of his bag some candy! We discussed the meetings, and he seemed to sound like he was learning stuff and enjoying it too. Finally our bus came. Triston was surprised to see how accommodating the bus was for handicapped people (for those that don't know the bus will tilt, and has a built in ramp, and designated chairs that can be folded up to make room for wheelchairs or scooters. Once we are all loaded up we headed off, we had about three hours until we needed to be back.
    Once at downtown disney we made our way just looking around, priority was food. We ended up choosing planet hollywood seeing as how he had never dined there before. We got walk in seating which again blew my mind. Overall lunch was pretty good, I know I enjoyed it. Plus its fun to see all the hollywood memorabilia. After we were done we ran into D-Street (Vinlymation store) I didn't buy anything though I wanted to haha. We were running low on time so we started to head back, luckily our destination was on the way. The Art of Disney store. It is one of the few locations that has an embroidery machine. We were getting Mickey ears! (My first pair if you can believe that). We both decided the classic black, with our names on the back. We started to have them shipped to our room, but found out it wouldn't be delivered till the next afternoon (we'd already be in the park by then) so, we ended up waiting for them to be done. Now racing to the bus as we were running late donning our new ears.
    We made it back a little late but, we didn't miss the meeting that was being led by Dr. Muenzer Management of MPS and other related diseases. From what I could tell it was mostly a question and answer round with him form the audience, people asking specific questions. After that meeting let out the next one came in. Shire updates. They basically told us what they could of future studies,a nd what they were looking for in the near, and distant future.
    Now that the meetings were over we retired back to our room until the banquet started. Once we were all ready, we made our way. I'll just say this upfront the food in my opinion was a little too fancy for my taste. Luckily our waiter snagged us a plate of tater tots haha. Throughout the meal they acknowledged members and accomplishments other society members had achieved over the year. Several people were dressed up for the after Prom event. Honestly it was a nice ceremony all in all though, plus the dessert by far made up for the meal in my opinion. Then it turned out they had one last small surprise for us over in the next room while they set up for the prom. Before we went to the room i got a picture with Barbara (who was head of the society and knew me back from when I was first diagnosed). In the other room waiting for us was CHARACTERS!! in total there was about nine I think they start out as four and then switch out with a new group. We ended up getting to meet Goofy, I managed to get Triston to see Cinderella (seriously owe him for that), and lastly we got to meet Chip & Dale. That was an awesome surprise the society pulled out of their sleeves, and a great way to meet characters outside the park.  After we got the pictures we voted on skipping the prom and just heading back to the room as I had to have to get up pretty early for the SPIRIT young adult meeting in the morning, and he will get to sleep in some. So while there were a fair amount of meetings today we did get some disney experiences!

Character day, Ohana, and Pirates!

    Ok so i'll be honest the first day hit quite a speed bump lol, well after a night in the ER, and finally getting back to our room for a well deserved sleep it was time to wake up, and start getting ready for our breakfast at Ohana (A character breakfast). We were all kinda lagging a little due to the late night, but finally we were all ready, and on the monorail to the Polynesian resort. I was using my walker this morning since the scooter wouldn't arrive until later this morning after breakfast. Since I had made a reservation for this meal we didn't have to wait long for someone to get us and bring us to our table. Once we sat down we had a great view of the Cinderella castle, and some great sweet breads to hold us until the food arrived.

    The food finally arrived in a big platter, and honestly it was really good (I'm not a big breakfast eater, but I was really hungry at this point) eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuits, and MICKEY waffles. As we neared the end of our breakfast we had a visit from Lilo (from Lilo and Stitch) I had only seen her in the park one time in my life so I was really excited to see her, Triston wanted to know if he asked her if she would let him braid her hair. I just laughed and was like I don't think so. After she Left Mickey Mouse made his way over to us (You gotta love Mickey) and he was decked out in his Hawaiian shirt. 

    Once we got the pictures, our server came by and gave us two maracas, and said we were to be in the Ohana parade. Basically all the kids and characters march around the restaurant to the song Hawaiian roller coaster ride. Triston was really into it. After we made it around the whole place once, and got back to our table I hoped out of the line and sat down, not wanting to try making it around again without walker or cane. While we waited on the check Pluto came over, and shortly after him one of my favorites Stitch! (another character i'd never had the chance to meet in person so I was stoked about seeing him! After getting the pictures we made our way back to the monorail, so we could meet the guy who was delivering my scooter. As for Ohana I thought it was quite a nice place. 

    While was waiting on my scooter to arrive Triston decided to go to the hospital to get himself checked out. Turns out disney has a shuttle that will take guests to a Center Care from their resort so he called and scheduled one to pick him up with the next little while. While we waited for his shuttle I tried out the scooter, and it was pretty simple in my opinion, though it did go faster than I thought that it'd be able to. Once his shuttle got here mom and I headed back to the room to get some rest before the MPS conference activities began. I uploaded some of my pictures to my laptop, and just kinda chilled for a little while. 

    Triston then called saying that the center care had a three hour wait and wanted to know if we would come and get him (which of course we had no objection). So our GPS was not our friend it kept sending us to the wrong location. We didn't know which center care he had been took to, and the resort told us the one they sent guests to, well we got there ok, but he wasn't there. Then we tried his location, and we still weren't there. Finally i got the address to the Applebee's right beside the center care, and as we were pulling in i saw him heading outside. He wanted to get some med so we search for a Wallgreens and found one that had a walk in clinic however, it had about an hour wait. He wanted to just get over the counter med, but i decided that i needed to rest as to not strain myself and just sat in the chair. Mom agreed and told him he helped get me from the ER the last night, and that we could wait here for him.

    Finally he gave in, and we waited lol, once he went back they tested for strep throat, which came back negative, and he didn't have a fever, but they decided to put him on some antibiotics to try and help clear up all the sinus problems. Once we got his prescription filled we were on our way back to the resort. Once we got back to the room he decide to rest a little but before dinner, knowing I had planned a surprise for the evening after dinner. So mom and I let him rest, and went out to register for the conference.

    Once we had signed in, and received all our info packets, and our badges we looked around a all the conference booths, we did some surveys, and talked to a couple of people. Dinner was starting earlier than expected so I headed back to the room to change, and to see if Triston wanted to sleep or eat. I chose my new custom Peter Pan tee shirt I had had made for the trip, and a long sleeve button down over it because the nights tend to get a little cool. After I got ready I was about to leave when triston woke up, and said he'd go to the dinner. There were so many MPS patients at this conference and the banquet was packed! Upon arrival the music was blasting loud (this coming from a deaf guy). the food choices were great mostly i just remember the Mickey mac and cheese. 

    There were some breakout meetings after the dinner but we had other plans after saying goodbye to mom, we headed over to check in to The pirates and palls firework voyage! We got a bandana, and a scavenger hunt to do while we waited for the event to start. It had clues to things you could find at the resort (you can find nearly all of them on the 4th floor of the contemporary) and they said we did it in record time. Finally the doors opened and we were ushered in to first part of the event. cotton candy, cake, ice creams, pretzels, chocolate coins were piled in the center of the room for the taking. Also in came Captain Hook, and Mr. Smee for photos. We chose to eat some treats and let the line die down for the photos.  When it was our turn they were not a fan of my shirt, and refused to take a picture unless I covered it up lol. Right after we were done a nice woman came and took us ahead of everyone to the docks since with the walker they let us use the elevator. 

    She got us to the boat and we took our seat, we got a great seat thanks to the walker we were on the side that would be facing the magic kingdom later on. Finally the rest of our group started making their way down to the docks and loading onto the two boats (we were on the the Mr. Smee boat). Finally we were setting sail. We had a pirate captain, and he gave off some funny jokes, and had all the families introduce themselves. Soon enough we stopped and got to watch the electrical parade from the boat as all the floats were so close to us, it was truly something to see. Then as soon as it started it was over and we continued on our journey, this time parking in front of the magic kingdom, and we got waterside viewing of the Holiday fireworks show with the sound from the parks! the fireworks were awesome, even Triston loved them! The ending fireworks were awesome they were shot off from all over the park and I seriously think the best view was right where we were. Then our boat headed home. Along the way there was some pirate trivia, I won a sword from the question which land in the Magic Kingdom is the attraction Pirates of the Caribbean located? (answer is adventure land). 

    Finally we were pulling back into the docks when we heard something CROW! Who else but the one, the only Peter Pan!! That's right here to greet us back was Peter himself. So of course we got in line to say hello. We had an awesome Peter he was in high form tonight. I even heard him say to one girl "well get on with it girl" lol. The second he saw my shirt his eyes lit up and he was all over it, wanting to know how I had "flattened him".(Characters love to see themselves on the guests, it shows a deeper interest).  We posed for some photos and he chatted back and forth with both of us, then we had to say goodbye and he told me to make sure I kept him clean, or have a girl wash it for me. Was so happy to get such a fun interaction with my favorite disney character! 

    On the way back to the room Triston said he was glad we went and that he was starting to feel better thanks to the med. Was really glad we didn't skip it myself, but I had told him if he wanted to rest I would have been fine with not going.  Back in the room mom and David were asleep, so we got changed for bed and hit the hay. Have a full day of meetings tomorrow! Tonight was really fun.

First ride in WDW to the ER...

    Ok so a lot actually happened on the first day of this trip, surprisingly I'm in the ER at the moment... How I got here is kinda my own fault I guess. I'll be honest I probably overdid with the walking, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
    Today really started after we finally arrived at our resort (The contemporary) after a long drive I was more than happy to finally see our room. Sadly we were on the second floor, all the way at the end of the resort, so it is kind of a walk to get to anywhere from our room. The room though itself I thought was really nice though! After unpacking we decided to go and ride the monorail to see the Polynesian resort that our breakfast would be (Ohana breakfast). Once we found that and figured that we'd be able to find it the next morning we made our way to the bus stop, deciding on going to downtown disney, so mom and David could get some dinner. I decided on waiting on Triston who was flying in a little later. (Kinda wish I had ate a little bit more than what I had looking back lol).
    Once we got off the bus we walked around looking for somewhere to eat, and David led us to the rainforest cafe, I was kinda against it expecting a long wait time, but we were seated upon walk in. They ordered a couple of appetizer platters, and I ate some off of their plates. While we were eating I called and checked on Tristons Magical Express reservation making sure everything was set when he landed. Of course the moment i get someone on the phone the restaurant comes to life with noise and sounds making it almost impossible to hear, but finally I managed to get everything settled, and when I hung up the lady told me to enjoy rainforest cafe.
    After dinner I made a quick run through the Days till christmas store, but mom was getting cold so we walked back to the bus stop and made our way back to the resort. Once we made it back to our room, Triston called and said he had landed.. however said that his luggage had been put on a late flight, so he was trying to see how he would get his luggage. Finally though he was on his way to the resort, so I made my way back to the resort Lobby to wait for him. So far crowds were actually pretty nice not a lot of people, but I knew as it grew closer to christmas more, and more would arrive. I went over to the front desk while i was waiting and made sure my magic band was linked to my debit card, and they got it all straightened out.
    Finally he arrived, and we hugged and chatted a couple minutes. I could tell he wasn't feeling one hundred percent well, as he was telling me last day of his ski rip he started feeling little rough with sinuses. Finally we started to make our way back to our room. Along the way we ran into one of my MPS friends Samantha who was also here for the conference. As you can see thats a lot of walking with just the cane for one day. Seeing as he was hungry, I got my mom to drive us to the main building to look for something open we could have for dinner. Here's where things started to go bad. The second I got in the car, my heart went off. An SVT attack. Honestly I felt like crap, the literal instant he gets here and my heart has to go off. What an awful welcome that must have been. (While this has happened before to me its not common and usually i can convert back on my own.) I told mom what was going on she had me lay down. I told Triston to go get some dinner and we'd be in the room which he was so nice about and understanding.
    We tried everything, she tried throwing ice on me, breathing, all the tricks. It wasn't converting back. He comes in the room asking if i was ok as he had saw an ambulance in the parking lot, and was scared it was for me. Mom went out looking for the paramedics to see if they could help, luckily she found them, and they came to me. They gave me an IV with a large tube, and told me what they were about to give me was gonna feel funny, I just looked at Triston as they argued over little things. The whatever they gave me technically is supposed to stop the heat so that it stopes the SVT. It worked however, in my opinion it made me feel very heavy as if I was being buried. after they checked the monitor and made sure my heart rate was getting to normal they loaded me onto the gurney, and whisked me away to the ambulance to the ER for observation. Which is where I am now. Honestly I'm ok now heart beat is back to normal and they have done bloodworm and X-rays, they've cleared me and we're just waiting for the doctor to sign us out.
    Im getting a little stir crazy as we've been here a good while David and Triston are on their way to get us. Mom has told me i'd be getting a scooter for the rest of the trip, at least for park day. Honestly I'm really glad I scheduled the breakfast for 10:45 am will give all some time to rest. Well this was definitely a rememberable first day at Disney, especially first ride to the ER in celebration.
    You know even though I'm in the hospital I looked back, and it was still a pretty good day. Just needed to take it a little bit easier here on out.

The night before Disney

    The day has finally come, the one I've been praying for, for so long. Within the next seven hours will begin our trip to walt disney world! I'm as excited as I should be while trying not to be too overly excited, but with me and disney not always that easy. The car is loaded (well at least with my bags and walker) my books are selected for the drive however, upon looking at my battery life all electronics could use a good charging.
    I can't really seem to fall asleep, but honestly i'll have nine hours to in the car, I'm just ready to be there. Triston will be flying in, and hopefully arriving at the resort around 8-9pm (Kinda hope he's as excited as I am). In the car on the drive down will be Mother, David, and myself. On the way back will be adding one more.
    I have to admit there have been a lot of... setbacks? Leading up to this trip, so hopefully for the most part we will have smooth sailings ahead. I've planned a few disney surprises along the way for us to enjoy leading up to the day we get to go to magic kingdom, along with the conference activities. Praying that this trip goes over well, and everyone has a blast. Looking forward to spending this holiday trip with a friend, and family.

Bam Pow my Head!

    Lets see, so yesterday I happened to have been involved in a motor accident. As you can tell my car is pretty much totaled... so close to disney I might add, but seriously no one was harmed, and thanks to the lord I was able to walk away. I was pretty sore after I got home that night, and even more so when the aftershocks hit me. I'll be honest, have had a headache on, and off since the accident, but just hope things get better as time goes by.
     Basically I was going through my intersection light (which was green for anyone wanting to know) when someone getting off the interstate (who claims his light was yellow) decided not to hesitate, and hit me going full speed. I was sent flying four lanes over, dodging oncoming traffic. My knees hits the dash pretty hard, and one was even cut, thankfully like I said I was able to walk away from the accident. The other guy was not harmed I was told seeing how I had been sent so far away from him.
    So I'm probably gonna be without wheels for awhile, and to be honest I really don't mind at the moment. I leave for disney next week, and Christmas is right around the corner. So while I am sad about the car, I think it's better to count the blessings.

Letting go for Change

    Ok so lately it feels like it's time to shed the skin so to say. Sometimes we have to let go of things that are holding us back in order to move on to something better in life. Whether it be certain people, bad habits, or even just daily routines. Sometimes we don't see that we're being dragged down by stuff until someone points it out. Ok some of them we do notice ourselves, but I think we choose to overlook it because honestly letting go sometimes can be hard.
    Not in the way where we don't want to let go, but the times where physically or mentally we just can't seem to. When I think about all the things I'm going right now I think back a few years and marvel at how trivial the things I was dealing back then was, and how big a deal I made of them. Now I know in the future ill be looking back and what I'm going through now, and it won't look quite as bad.
    So sometimes letting go, and making room for change can be a good thing. It may not always be the easiest thing for us to do, but most of the time down the road will be proud of what we did. So it looks like in my life I have a few things to shed, and oddly enough its coming up on the new years mark so maybe that will give a little boost to help fuel the steam.

Dealing with Setbacks

       You know at times we can feel like we are on top of the world, that nothing can stand in our way. We know what we want, and how we're going to get it. That things are finally going our way. Then out of nowhere along comes something that knocks us back down to size. In a matter of seconds our reality shifts from one to another. We're left sorta shell shocked to say the least.
    There's always going to be setbacks in life big or small. Don't judge yourself though on the setback, but how you handle them, what you do after them. Thats what you should judge yourself by. There's honestly no real way to handle a setback other than just accepting it and moving on. You could dwell on it, but that won't ever change anything.
    Lastly if you think a setback might be coming on, don't try to fight it. You'll make yourself paranoid trying to debate every choice you make. If it's coming, then it's coming. Setbacks are sadly a part of life they help us grow and learn.

Best version of ourself

    Sometimes it feels like we don't see ourselves as the best versions of us we can be. Sometimes we may not even know what the best version of ourself is. Then we start to wonder if we aren't good enough for the people in our life. The people who we put up higher than we see ourselves. It's easy to see the flaws in ourselves as opposed to what other people actually notice. We look in the mirror, and its like in our eyes all of our flaws are magnified to the point of them being so far from the actual truth of what they honestly are.
    If we don't like ourselves, how can we expect others to like us? Then there are the people we wonder why they even acknowledge us, let alone choose to befriend us. Like what do they see that we don't? I think the fact is that all those flaws we see in ourself for the most part only we see. The people who tend to stick with us see the good that sometimes we don't notice.
    Sometimes its just the same way we are about others when we notice their bad qualities, we choose to overlook them because we see thier good easily outshines the bad in our opinion. So maybe our best version of ourself isn't the one thats perfect. Maybe it's the one with flaws and all. Because thats when were being true to ourselves, and no one who cares about you wouldn't love that.

into our lives

    Have you ever just stopped, and wondered why, or how the people in your life came to be there? Think about all the humans that walk earth, and how we meet only a handful of them. The ones that are in our lives are the ones important to us. Some turn out to be friends, others turn out to be enemies, or at least people we don't mind seeing gone after only a short while. Everyday brings a chance to meet someone new, and also a chance to hold on to someone old. 

    Someone once said sometimes people you haven't known as long as people you've know much longer can prove themselves to be much better to you than the others. Sometimes we only get to hold on to someone for the briefest of time, but yet they can have the most impact on our lives. Another thing about the people who are involved in our lives we need to remember quality over quantity, and I'm happy that I can say I have a few people who are worth more than gold. 

    While you're wondering what brought the people that's in your life into it, also think about what brought you into theirs? Sometimes it turns out they need us just as much as we need them. I'll admit that's not always the case, but usually there is a link that connects you together. I'll also admit I don't always see why the people around me choose to be around me, but everyone has their reasons and thats all you really need to know.

Don't settle

    Have you ever met someone and just get flustered? You're just like "well God did a GOOD job on them" to quote a friend of mine haha. Let's sadly admit it while looks aren't everything, in this society they kind of are. Then when you meet them or interact with them you feel like you kinda fall flat, and think you'll never be on their level, or ever have them take an interest in you. That honestly is just a bad place to be.

    I choose to believe that there is someone you're looking for who's looking for you. You just have to be patient and not settle for just anyone who comes by your way. God has someone in store for everyone, and he won't give you someone you don't like. That's a promise he has the perfect person in store for you. You both just have to find each other. So don't ever feel inferior because you are worth anyone's love. 

    However remember before anyone can  be expected to accept you for all you are, you have to look in the mirror and be able to accept yourself flaws and all. Remember even the people who seem perfect from a glance have their own luggage that might be deeper than skin. So just don't settle it may take time but your dream date is out there somewhere. 

Just hope for the best

    So today went over fairly well, hung out with mom. Got to go see Big hero 6, and honestly i have to say its really a great movie. By far one of the best I’ve seen in awhile. Then for dinner we went to Outback, ha i got steak and lobster a rare treat seeing how it was priced $14.99 honestly though it was so tasty! i texted a few people and got some replies lol. crazy right? 

    Then i just lounged around my room and got caught up on some of my shows (Red Band Society, and The Flash). The disney trip is getting closer with each passing day, and honestly i can’t tell if I’m more nervous or excited about it. Because sadly once its finally here, then within a few days it will be over. Honestly I’m still half expecting something to come out of the woodwork and have things not go as planned. On the other hand I’m honestly really happy at times because i mean come on its disney during Christmas, one of my most best friends, and getting to catch up in person with other MPS patients.

    Maybe I’m over thinking some things, and honestly i probably am. Still sometimes you can’t help how you feel, i guess i just have to hope for the best. 

Took a short break

    Ok so I haven't written anything in a couple weeks and I'm honestly sorry guess I was taking a small break from it. To be honest not too much happened though. Just day to day life haha.

    Did get to go see Disney on ice thanks to my hospitals, took my mom and nephew Cooper! It was honestly really fun and we had great seats. Was a nice pre Disney vacation treat lol. 

If you've never been I highly recommend you give it a try!!

    Also for Halloween I went out as Spider-Man! It was super cold that night so costume wasn't the best weather friendly choice lol, but it was still fun. Even went into a store with it on, and got several thumbs up haha

    Other little detail were working on trying to get me some assistance on getting to work (like a job) and not lose my insurance so, fingers crossed that something works out there. 

    So I guess I've managed to stay busy these last weeks but I'm planning on getting back to writing more frequently.

Consider the consequences

    Sometimes things happen that we don't entend to. We need to realize that every action we take, will have a reaction and effect someone else. We need to always think about the consequences of our actions. So much could be avoided if people would only take the time and consider how they are going to effect others. 

     Trying to get the nerve to apologize isn't always easy either, but it's always a good thing to attempt. Remeber though sometimes the apology won't be enough for the other person. Just meet them halfway, and know you've done all you could. 

     Remeber by considering how things will play out you could avoid a lot of problems. So slow down it's easier to take your time and get something done right than having to go back and clean up the mess from rushing into things.

Disney is coming

    Sometimes we can have something we are planning seem really important, and to us it really is. We've made plans, got things in order and everything is now just waiting for the time to come. However, don't let everything else pass you by as you're waiting for what's up ahead. Each day has the opportunity to offer so much.

    So long story short were getting ready for a Disney Vacation! Honestly I'm freaking excited it will be with the MPS society, hopefully I have a friend coming (don't wanna jinx it lol, it will be during December close to Christmas, and will be staying at the contemporary resort. Reservations have been made, and everything is coming along nicely, it's so close almost an arms length away. Yet like I said before while it's tempting to just want to wait and watch the hours tick by, I don't wanna waste two months say by just waiting. 

    So while I'm happily counting down the days I'll still manage to try and enjoy all these days that are separating me and my disney trip lol

Happily stay forever young

    You know, I can see why people don't wanna grow up anymore, and why should we have to? This world as you grow older the illusions fade away. Everything that was mysterious, or magical lose thier charm due to truth. And after the glamour is gone, we're left with the ugly truth. We live in an awful world. Full of hate, envy, and lust. 

    People hurt one another for no reason, instead of being happy for others now most are jealous of achievments, and love has been tossed out the window for the simple acts of lust.  

    When we're young we were shielded from the truths. People try to fabricate this picture where everything's fine. Why should we leave that? Aren't we supposed to make mistakes when we're young, and for the most part have it together when we're older? Not the other way around?

    If all that is what growing up entails, fully entering that world, I'll happily stay forever young. However, I do feel that you can grow up without realy growing up if that even makes any sense. Like you don't have to fall into the pattern that this world is leading.

Enough risks?

    Sometimes I find myself asking do I take enough risks, or am I too timid? I look around, and by first glance I think comparative wise maybe I don't. People I consider close are always doing things, exciting things, and I'm just like what am I doing? I know that I have to realize how far I have come, and how much I have done in the past. Because honestly that list in itself is quite long.
    However, I notice for example like last weekend when I got to hang out with some family we went to Sir Goonies (a small amusement park) it was fun, being around people and interacting with them. it was fun racing the go carts, even when I got ran into, and ended up facing the other way. It made me realize that I don't care to be by myself much. I can be by myself just fine because I got used to it at times, but now I wonder just how much did I miss out on.
    I'm very thankful for the people in my life who helped me slowly break down my walls, even if they don't know that they did just by inviting, and involving me in parts of their own lives. My illness has never held me back really unless I let it, and I think people can attest to the fact that I always tried, and gave my everything in the past. Well maybe it's time to take some more risks, have some more fun, live life. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do just yet, but I know that I just wanna do something.

Hearts of the matter

    We all have a heart, now I'm not referring to the body organ. I mean the place that our emotions emanates from. While some hearts are bright with light, others sadly are black as coal. Some people are more in tune with their hearts, while others tend to listen more to their mind. 

    Hearts bring us the ability to love others. Sometimes they bring us nothing, but hurt and grief. Some people see love, and as weak, because of all the heartache they can cause, and at how easy it is to manipulate at times. However, in my opinion love is strength. I try to live by my heart, and all the emotions that come with doing so. 

    Hearts can be broken, they can be iced over, and their light can be snuffed out all due to events that come to pass. Despite all of that with the help from another heart they can always be cured. So try to keep your hearts light shining bright. 

Quiet, but things are looking up

    You know lately things have been calm. Treatment has been going smoothly. I haven't been sick in awhile. Things have for the most part been quiet. I'm not sure if that's a completely good thing or not really. The whole calm before the storm saying comes to mind. Another reasons I say it's been quiet is just stating the truth. Seems like lately I'm noticing or feeling like I'm fading. the group I hang out with usually well I wonder if they even realize its been over a month since I actually got to go do something with them.
    Fo the ones who've moved away for school it's actually at times getting easier, we text, and I've started letter writing, (Not sure if ill get a reply though ha) and they do visit sometimes, but it's still not the easiest thing in the world, when you look around, and realize the majority of your time you've spent by yourself.
    Despite all of this I have to honestly say that things are looking up.  Sure at times it may not seem like it, but in the bigger picture I'm doing better than I have in awhile. There are a few kinks to work out, but I think everybody has some honestly. I'm trying to trust that everything is gonna work out the best way it can.

Opinion on opinions

    Opinions, we all have them, We also all have different views and beliefs on certain topics, and that's a good thing. We're all different so it makes sense that our opinions may differ from each other from time to time. While it's ok to have different opinions, it's still important to respect others opinions. You wouldn't want someone tearing you down because of how you see something. So you shouldn't tear someone else down vice versa.
    Sometimes arguments will arise due to conflicting opinions though however, in that case it's usually better to just agree to disagree. Never let anyone make feel like your opinion is wrong, remember that's just the way they see it. While it's good to take pride in your opinions, remember pride is a deadly sin, and it easily can get to where you're shoving your opinion down peoples throats (No one wants that).
    Just remember to be considerate when people finally open up, and share whats one their mind. You never know when something you say could be taken the wrong way.

R5 live in Atlanta (2nd year in a row)

    So most everyone who knows me, knows that for my 21st birthday I celebrated with a trip to Atlanta to see R5. For my 22nd birthday however, I actually bought myself tickets to see them as well, however the show was in september. Finally the day arrived and I go to to back and see them again, of course I had the VIP pass again. Tina, and I did have a few bumps along the way trying to get there, but it was an awesome day for me.
    When I got to go, and get my picture with them they actually seemed to remember me, and like last year after the picture was took I turned around and, hugged Rydel. (Gotta start tradition lol). The show, even with Ross a bit under the weather was still great, and they gave it their all. I'll be honest the seats I got were nosebleed section, but with the pictures I got you wouldn't believe it. I even ran into a few of the people I met at last years show, which was surprising see how this one had nearly quadrupled its audience.
    So a little belated birthday gift to me from me, and I couldn't have asked for anything better. Heres hoping for next year!

Letter Writing

    So here lately I've took up letter writing since I have a number of people who aren't quite as close by as they used to be. I know many people see it as a dying art form, but I enjoy it. I think people enjoy a hand written note waiting for them in the pile of mail. Texting, email, social media are all fine, but with a letter it takes time, and I think it means a little more because it's personal. There's no spellchecker, and if you're like me and use a pen you take time making sure no mistakes get written. 

    I know I personally love getting letters, not just for holidays, but just a random note every now and then. Hopefully I get some replies from the letters I'm sending out, but if not it's fun just sending them for me. 

No headlights in the dark

    Sometimes it feels like were driving with no headlights in the dark. We want to reach out to someone, but we don't know where they are. We need them to help us pick up the shards of ourselves, after shattering from quite a fall. People don't understand that feeling left out or not included, can have lasting effects on a person. Yet that knowledge doesn't stop people from hurting others.
    If everyone would try to be a light to others, maybe no one would feel so trapped in darkness. They may not feel so alone. I understand you can't be nice to everyone because we're human, but that doesn't mean we can't try. You never know when someone is missing someone terribly, or when they are hurting from things aren't going so smoothly for them.
    More than often people get looked over, they get swept aside because they bring up their problems and the people don't wanna give them the time of day, so in return the hurting person clams up. They don't wanna be a bother, and all it takes is one person sending them away for them to give up trying to reach out. I don't know about you, but i'd never want that on my shoulders.
    Try being a light for those people driving without headlights. You might make someones day, you might make a friend, you might even save their life.

The end we expected

    Sometimes the what we expected to be the end, turns out not to be the end. That can be both a good thing, and a bad depending on the situation. For example when you're hurting, and you think something coming up will be closure, and help you start to move on. Only it comes sadly nothing changes, and you're still left with your feelings. Other times when you think something has already ended, it finds a way to resurface trying for another chance. All you can do is hope that this time it lasts.
 

Choosing the right thing

    Have you ever done something you know is right, but still felt awful after you went through with it? Last night I did. If everyones telling me I did the right thing, why do I feel like I did the wrong thing? I guess you could say it's my nerves, not sure how it will play out. 

    When you think about it the right thing is usually never easy. However, going through with it just because you know it's the right thing is part of what makes it right. The will to step up when someone else won't, even a friend at times. In the long run the right path will always end up better than sticking to lies, and secrets. I still can't help but feel like it could all unravel at any moment. 

    I always prefer the option where no one has to be hurt however, that option rarely presents itself. With that being said whats done is done, and will just have to see what happens next. 

All about change

    Well the time I've tried to avoid has finally arrived, and with it key people in my life are off to college this weekend, and while I know I won't lose these people completely it still hurts. I've tried to keep busy, spend some time with them, and even tried to block out my emotions. While I treasure the times I got to have, and learned that the emotions good or bad, are meant to be there, none of it slowed down time. I wonder if other people go through this. I also wonder if any of these people will miss me. 

    Life is all about change, and that's all that's happening here. Just a little change. A little change won't ruin anything unless one lets it. I'll be honest it's been draining emotionally, but I've still got some fight left in me. Unlike other times nothing is ending, simply just changing. I've got the link starting back up Sunday nights, and I'm continuing with the children's ministry this year for Sunday mornings. I'll find ways to keep myself occupied. I'm thinking that after the hump things will get easier if I see things don't really change too much (And hopefully can schedule some visits). I know to some people my feelings sound probably crazy, but they are mine. 

Life isn't fair at times

   So here lately I've noticed I haven't been doing as well as I could. There are times when I'm washed over with the feeling of loneliness. It feels like I'm losing people ony life left and right, and I don't know what to do. The ones who I turn to, won't always be as close by anymore, and honestly that is hurting me inside. 

    I'm gonna risk sounding selfish, but I just want to say it's not fair. I can handle a lot, and honestly I have. However, having to lose people just seems like a cruel twist of fate. I just hope they don't forget me, and leave me all together. 

    No one likes to be alone, there are times we always need someone to be with. It takes time though to get to that level of trust in other people. 

    I know in the end I'll be ok. I'm just saying as we all already know. Life isn't fair at times.

The weight of the world

    Have you ever just wanted to surrender? To just let everything that you've been carrying fall to the ground, and just watch it all shatter?  Do you ever ask yourself, is there always gonna be another battle down the road?

    Sometimes it feels like we never get a break in life, that something always comes up. To be honest if you're constantly thinking along those lines, I think you're forgetting to focus on the good. It's easy to let yourself fall prey to all the negative parts of your life, but usually the bad parts of our lives are somehow connected to the good. 

    The good aspects are easier to fade into the background as opposed to the bad. I know personally that in my life at times I have to take a step back and look at all the good that goes on in my life, and the the bad does not rule. 

    I know sometimes it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. However, we have to learn that we are allowed to take a break, we can set things aside every so often. If you drop something usually someone will find a way to catch it if it's truly of importance. 

    So don't let yourself be crushed by everything your carrying. 

Fading

    Have you ever felt like you're fading away? Like you're drifting apart from people? You go into a room full of people, but can't help the feeling lurking in the back of your mind that you don't belong there anymore.

   You feel like your sinking, and you don't even reach out for help, because you don't think anyone's around, so you just keep sinking deeper. It's hard during these times because I think the more you pull away, the more you're hurting yourself. Though I can't say I'm any exception. 

    Over time things fade from your life however, not everything. I believe some things while they may not always be the same, they will always stay a part of your life. We as people do change, our likes, our hobbies, all sorts of things over time. Sometimes we get replaced, that's never fun, but life isn't always fun I guess. 

    The things that truly matter however, will always find some kind of way to keep you a part of them, like you would vice versa. Sometimes the change can be good though, while yes hard to transition into, but for the better.

    During the hard times all I can honestly say is just try to hold on to what you know in your heart, and let what happens happen.

Hiding behind pride

    In today's world people are so wrapped up in thier own life, no one notices the little clues of people trying to reach out. They take the cover picture to heart, and assume they know everything.

    We hide behind pride. Keep the truth locked behind doors, and burry our problems within us beneath surface level. So the people around us can what, assume everything's ok? There is nothing wrong with someone needing help. This society has made it as though someone should be considered weak for needing help. 

    I've said it before people need people, and it's true we all at some point need someone we can trust when we're falling. So don't ever let yourself, or anyone put you down for needing someone to lean on.  

St Augustine 2014

    So for the past week I've been on vacation with the other Watkins as i call them. My aunt Angela, uncle Jerry, and my cousin Gracie.  

     Yes we have been in St. Augustine Florida, in a beach house I might add. We have done so much in just one week, and boy am I tired ha.

    I've played in the ocean riding the waves, dug a nice hole in the sand, and we think a manatee swam by us while we were out playing (though we quickly evacuated the water just to be safe). We went on a local chocolate factory your and got to taste some amazing chocolate and treats, I even wound up buying some caramel squares covered in chocolate with sea salt sprinkled on them. We fed some turtles, as well as spent some time at marine land and got to feed and pet a live dolphin. We also toured this really cool and beautiful church in downtown St. Augustine. We got to eat at the SaltLife shack which turned out to bame an awesome restaurant. We went fishing on an airboat and I managed to catch four fish including a 5lb spotted sea trout, and a stingray. Of course we also had a fish fry one night. It's still kinda crazy to think all that happened in just less than a week. 

    This trip has been fun, and I can honestly say I like St. Augustine, and wouldn't mind coming back one day. Tomorrow we head home so hoping for a smooth trip home.  

Winshape camp

    So this week I helped out with the winshape camp in dalton, let me just start off by saying it is truly an amazing experience, whether your a kid or a volunteer.  I was only able to volunteer two days, due to treatment, and leaving for vacation the same week.

    Monday: (each day we (the volunteers) had to be there by seven am, and it would last till about six pm.) I was in the Hippo group, from the safari tribe (three tribes total, with different animal groups) had about twenty kids. We helped take down the welcome equipment then we had worship, and then the groups would divide. All the staff were extremely nice people, and it was nice being treated like I wasn't sick, since they didn't know my medical history. It was just really a nice feeling being treated infriggerent from both the girls and guys. 

     While I was a helper in the hippo group during the skill time I was assigned to painting (one of the indoor skills). That was a lot of fun, and was an easy way to talk to the kids. 

    There was a lot of walking and physical activities as well. Sadly the first day I did have a few.. Incidents. The first was I lost my keys and tried to search everywhere for them. That also added stress to all the other stuff I had did that day so far. Finally I decide to take a break, and the minute I sit down my heart started racing. Now usually when this happend if it lasts longer than ten minutes I have to go to the ER. Well I had no car keys. So luckily I was sitting outside of painting and fast foods which my friend Triston was in. So I told myself if the ten minutes pass then I would go in and get him to take me to the ER. Luckily my heart slowed down after right minutes and twenty seven seconds. The few people that found out about it were a little worried though.  Also during the last worship session my keys were found!

    Tuesday: I decided to cut out all outdoor activities in order to avoid what happened the previous day. That really seemed to work I had more energy and I was able to enjoy the day a lot more. People did check in on me throughout the day. Which is probably a good thing, means they care. 

    Looking forward to next year! As well as I'm looking forward to headin to the beach tomorrow!

Lesson learned

    You know I can honestly say I'd rather choose to live a life full of all emotions, as opposed to living without feeling anything. While at first a life without grief, pain, anger, and guilt sounds pretty good, you have to remember the full price all the good emotions would be gone too. Like excitement, and love.

    Recently I got to somehow experience this (how I'm not exactly sure). It was odd, but it was like suddenly all the things that were effecting me emotionally one day, simply were untethered from me. At first I thought it was a good thing, but after awhile it was more odd than anything. Things would happen that normally would get a reaction out of me however, nothing happened. 

    Finally though I got some really good news, something that I should have been ecstatic about, while I was happy, there was honestly not any excitement. That's what got me thinking because I realized normally I would be jumping up and down over this. So what was the problem? 

     Well the next day things were apparently back to normal however, it was funny, I was driving when I suddenly felt a little sad about something that had happened the last few days. I smiled because even though I was upset, I was just happy to have the feeling of the emotion back. 

    So I'm not sure what it all meant maybe it was showing me something, a lesson I needed to see, or maybe it was all in my head. Either way I did learn something. A world without emotions isn't real, and neither would a world with only good emotions. We need the bad stuff in our lives so that we truly appreciate the good. Plus the feelings we get just remind us that we are human, and we care. 

True friends

    Sometimes in life, we will be lucky enough to make true friends. Friends who will never leave our life. Just like those select people will always be there when we need them, we need to always be there for them, and not take them for granted. You'll be lucky if you get one, or even two people in your life that you can call a true friend. Because it's rare, and not just everybody will click in that way.

     I can honestly say in my life at the moment I'm able to say that I have at least one person who I consider to be a true friend. This person has done so much for me over the years, and has always definitely brought out the best in me. I just hope that I've been able to help him along the way in return. 

    We have so many people in our lives, we come to meet people everyday. Some of those people come into, and then eventually out of our life. While some slip in and out, othes hang out in the background. And then there are the few that stick around through everything. Each setback, and life event just adding to the strength of it. 

    I'm hoping that what people say about distance not being able to effect true friendships to be true. Anyway, if you have a true friend let them know how much you appreciate them, and if you don't try looking a little harder you might not see that one person trying to break through to you.

Always wanting more

    Feels like anyone, and everyone has something they want, or think that they need, and I know I'm no exception. This world is full of so much stuff. Too much honestly, and at the rate were going will never be satisfied.

    Some want the newest gadget, and if they don't get it they can feel inferior. Movies, toys, technology, clothes, furniture, books, the list goes on for miles. Everyone had wants however, some people let their wants rule their life. Because in the heat of the moment the feeling of need is dire, and pressing. You want it now. If you could find a way to take a breather and step back you might be able to see you are not gonna die without whatever is currently on your want list, odds are it's gonna be sitting around waiting if you can't get it this moment as well. 

    I'll admit I struggle with this at times when I get a want I try to find any way to make it happen, while some would call that resourceful at times, it also can be reckless. You don't have to get something right when it comes out. I know it's cool to have the newest toy first, but sometimes we need to try and get a fresh perspective and walk away. 

    In our society most of us may not realize it be we are so privileged by what we do have, and we shouldn't waste our life by constantly wanting more stuff. Because let's face it none of the stuff we get on earth will go with us when we die. We were born into this world with nothing, and that's how we are gonna leave. 

    So all I'm saying the next time you get an urge to splurge, just ask yourself is it really something you need right now? It's ok to treat yourself every so often, but not to the point where it's the things you own that give you happiness in life. 

Treatment not smooth as silk

    So treatment today didn't go quite as smoothly as normal. We arrived on time, but the place was packed, there was like seven families ahead of us in the waiting room. Each having a minimum of four people.

    Finally I get called back, and things seem to be getting back on track however, that feeling didn't last long. The nurse missed my port (and I will be honest that kinda hurt). So after one of my regular nurses came in and acceded me correctly. 

    The day was way behind schedule, and my machine kept beeping, finally a nurse realized that the med was not pumping through. My port may have been clogged. So a nurse came in and tried to flush it clean, it was cold and stung a little. However, it seemed to work. 

    After that things settled down, we got out later than usual, and I was tired and sore so I just went home and rested. My cousin Gracie and LB brought me some dinner after hearing about my day ha. Glad the day is over, and hope nothing is wrong with my port. 

If it's meant to be

    There comes a time when we all have to learn that everything happens for a reason. That all the heartaches, pains, and even the good moments are all leading to something. For better or worse you can never be sure. 

    Sometimes we might not even get to see what our events are leading towards, for we were just pawns in someone else's life at times. Sometimes our darkest hour is preparing us for a future soon to come, that without the preparation we wouldn't have been able to face it. 

    Remember things will happen if they are meant to be, so cast aside your doubts, and live life. If it's meant to be it will, so don't go around fighting it. 

    God only has the best in store for us, though we may not always see eye to eye on what is best for us, he does. Trust that he knows what he's doing and I promise you good things will blossom along the way.

Fleeting, like a rainbow

    Today I tried to take a picture of this great view of a rainbow however, my camera didn't have a batterie, but luckily I managed to take some shots with my phone before I rushed back in to retrieve the batterie. Once back outside I noticed it was already fading away. That got me thinking. How is it something that is such a great part of life can be so fleeting?

    Then again when you think about it the truly best things in our lives are like rainbows, for they to quickly fade away allowing us a brief moment of bliss. It's the people and things that aren't always around, but when they are we just become better people because of them. If a rainbow was visible every second of the day it wouldn't be as special as it is to us. The same applies to the other things in our life. While we may never want to lose them, or let them go, and we just want to avoid the pain their absence brings we have to know that all of that makes them all the more special during those brief moments we get. 

    So enjoy life during those times, and then hold on to the precious memories when you're down. And remember another rainbow is just down the road.

Adventure week 2014 Blast Off!

    Ok so every day this week, Sunday-last night I have been helping out with Rock Bridge Community church Adventure week (a type of vacation bible school). This year I did two campuses, dalton and Chatsworth, so each night I'd be at the dalton campus from about 4:30pm-9:30pm then I'd turn around each morning and go to Chatsworth from 8:30am-12:30pm.

    Let me start off by saying I am worn out lol. Each session had a jump start where we danced, and was crazy trying to get the energy up. I remember the first adventure week I helped with, and how I couldn't stand up for the worship or jump start, then the next year I was able to be up some, now this year you ask? I was up for every song doing all the moves! Plus this was a double session so I definitely saw improvement. 

    In dalton I had the kindergarten kids, then in Chatsworth I had 4th/5th graders each group of kids were awesome. Our theme was Blast Off! So kinda a space feeling. Our motto was Love god, Love others, Live sent! It was a draining week, but it was also a fun week got to meet some nice kids and got to spend time with great people and friends.

    We ended the week last night at the Creative Discovery Muesem in Chattanooga TN. The kids loved it, and I think us leaders did too lol. Though now I am ready for a little bit of rest ha. 

Know yourself

    You know people like to believe they know their true selves, but honestly most of us don't. Not until something awful happens in our lives that causes all the useless pieces to just fall off, leaving us with only our true self. 

    We are who we are at times due to what surrounds us, the people, the places, all the details help make up who we choose to be, or who we try to potray to be. Eventually though we will each go through something that will test ourselves, can you honestly say you'd be the same person? 

    Say the person you cared about the most died, or suddenly was no longer a part of your life, would you change any? Or if you claim to be unselfish yet you're about to be in some serious trouble would you in the heat of the moment try to throw someone under the bus to save yourself?

    So do you know yourself? Or do you let others influence your choices on who you are, even if those choices are positive? And if they are without those influences who would you be?

    Honestly though even though it seems cliche, trying to be yourself is all you ever need to do in this life, don't let anyone or anything sway your thoughts on who you are.   

In between the pages

    People ask me if I ever trade books back in, and honestly I don't usually. Because a book sometimes tells more than just the story that's printed on its pages. It also holds memories in my opinion. They are stored in between the pages. Like when you're on a trip the book can help you remember all the places you were at while reading. Or a book can let you remember someone, when you bought or recieved it, whoever you were with. 

    So I think that's why I keep my books. While they do tell stories, they also hold memories. And I don't think I want to let any memory go. 

When to wave the white flag

    Sometimes when we are fighting with people we need to learn when to wave the white flag and reconcile. When we think about it, it's usually the people we are closest to that where the flare ups come from. I know personally with friends there are some who I occasionally fight with, one where it seemed all we did was fight, and the one where we have never faught. 

    Almost everyone fights at some point of their lives even if it's just once, and holding on to a grudge and freezing them out can be fun while you're mad, but if you wish to move past it you'll have to raise the white flag to start fixing things.

    Now with the friendship where all we did was fight after a while waving the white flag was what we both did, that was also where it ended. Sad to say there was no reconciliation. We just both acknowledged that we were tired of fighting, and decided to move on with our now separate lives. 

   Lastly the friend where we have yet to have a fight raises the question why haven't we faught? What I think is it depends on the people involved, some people work better together than others. However, I also believe that it dosent mean if you fight it lessons the relationship with someone. Trials, fights, and good times are all important things you have to go through with people, in order to mold the relationship. 

    So when a fight does emerge you need to evaluate and decide if a white flag should be raised, and if you want to reconcile. Sometimes it's worth salvaging, or there it may be time to throw in the towel.

Crack of dawn

    Good morning, well to those of you who are awake that is. You see as of late I have not been having the most restful of nights. I thought it would eventually just pass, that it was just a phase, but sadly that does not seem to be the case. Since it is the crack of dawn, i figured why not for a brief time crack open, and catch a glimpse of some of whats going on in my mind. During the day I'm tired, at nights its hard to fall into a slumber, the thoughts simply won't quit racing through my head. Of course when I finally do manage to fall asleep, it's been called the sleep of the dead, and not many people have yet to succeed in waking me.
    I think the stress of daily life is catching up with my body, and it's not mixing all too well. What could I possibly have that's stressful in my easy life you ask? Well for starters I've had a falling out with a friend of whom I've known for most of my life just a little over a month ago. and they were pretty set in their decision. Plus the fact I've heard nothing from them since then speaks volume on its own. While on a similar subject, change is in the air while a few more friendships may soon be changing, hopefully not for the worse.
    Then there are times I think about what am I doing? Life is passing me by, and I'm floating. Granted right now is an ok time to float, but I just know that I don't wanna float forever. I'm surrounded by people daily who are moving on to better things, and at times I feel like I'm getting left behind. There are also times I just feel inferior to them.  However, at the same time I'm sincerely thrilled, and happy for them, so it's kind of a constant back and forth.
    Now while I am truly thankful for the drug that has helped me tremendously, having to take it every week for life, kinda gets you stuck in a pattern. It never changes, and while yes it helps, I do still hope that a permanent solution one day comes about. Having to make sure my schedule works around it, as well as securing people to help take me at times isn't the easiest of challenges. I would never not want this medicine that helps me in so many ways, I just at times wish that I was not chained to it. However the benefits here far outweigh the few discomforts.
   There are a few other things that are floating around in my mind from time to time however, I believe it's best to not put everything to text. Everyone is entitled to their own private thoughts, think about whats floating around in your mind. Would you wanna share it all?  Well thats it, I might now try to get some sleep ha.
    Remember though everyone has things going on in their life that you probably don't know about, so don't assume you know everything. The one thing though that I've learned is that with time all things begin to fade, just how much time? Well it varies from person to person. So respect people, and be kind. You never know when a small act is all they need to make their day.

Fear can be a good thing

     Sadly fear can be the number one motivater in life. The fear of being discovered, fear of failure, fear of liking the wrong person. People who seem to have dumped all that fear behind them truly are special, but at the same time it's what makes them voulnerable. Because you see, fear can be a very good thing. It's what can keep you from underestimating people. As well as keep you from making mistakes about how far you can push someone before they choose to push back. 

Where did things go wrong

    When I look around I see this world still holds so much goodness in it, but at the same time it also holds it's fair share of wickedness. Our generation has damaged so much. Starting with love. Love used to be caring for someone. Now love is a loose excuse for sex, and getting things you want. It used to be pure and innocent. Friends love each other, family loves each other, and then there's the romantic aspect of love. At times now if you say you love a friend you can be mocked. Caring for others isn't always seen as the strongest. And Sex is the only thing that can save a relationship. 

    Where did everything go wrong? I honestly don't know, I think it has something to do with image, and how people see us. Lately I've been debating on things, and I've come to a conclusion. We're on this earth for a brief amount of time, so I figure we should act how we want, instead of molding to society. 

    If you wanna hug your friend go ahead, if you wanna spend time with your family over partying do it, if someone says they are going to leave you unless you have sex tell them goodbye. I may be one of the few who choose this, but I'm choosing to be happy, and carefree. 

Gift of a friend

    The most valuable thing any person can give you is the gift of a friend. Someone who sincerely cares about you, and is there when you've had a rough time, or just aren't in the best of places. Someone who listens, when you need them to, and tries to help with what you may need. Even if it's nothing more than reassurance. I'm lucky, the people in my life I call friends are some of the best, and I'm sincerely thankful for them.
    Honestly though being a friend to someone is one of the best gifts you can give to someone. It shows you care enough about someone to take time out of your life and either be apart of theirs, or try and let them be apart of yours. It's kinda like giving someone your trust, because friends grow close over time, and you learn more about each other. The closer you are the more you care is how I see it. Friends don't care about your problems or issues (if someone in your life does, you may need to see just how much of a friend they are).
    So when someone gives you the gift of a friend, treasure it. Because even a short lived friendship can bring you so much in the long run. I can't say that every friendship will last forever, because nothing is for certain, but I think a few no matter what will find a way to survive no matter what this world tries to throw at it.

We all need to hear

    I think we all need to hear that we are loved, or cared about from time to time. That we are appreciated in the things we do. In my opinion when people do that it's like they took time out of their life, and purposely thought about you. Little things like hat can make anyone's day. 

    Everyone wants to feel wanted, and a part of something bigger than just themselves. Life can be a lonely place when you feel isolated, so remember that personally as well. Try to tell other people in your life that they are also valued. 

    Kindness is like a virus ha, you start spreading it, and it can infect more people than you thought possible 

Self validation

    Well let me start off by saying if you're looking in other people for self validation, it won't matter what anyone says. Self validation comes from within. You have to be able to say you've earned it by your standards. For some people that's not an easy thing to accomplish. We all have a tendency to criticize ourselves much harder than we do others.
    No matter how other people see us will never fully give us the self validation were seeking, so trying to change ourselves, or just act in a way that would please someone in order to get validation from them, won't work. No one can give us what we are looking for in that area. However, the moment we accept this and stop looking for validation from other people, is the moment when we've accepted ourselves. (and that's self validation, when you think your what you need to be).

The amazing Spider-Man two

    So I got to see the amazing Spider-Man two the other day, and I have to say I loved it. I'm not one who usually gets excited about movie, let alone super hero charachters ha. However, I remembered that I enjoyed the first one in this second spin on the series (I have to say I like the second set of films more than the first ones).

    I got to see it with my friend Byron, he said he enjoyed it as well. There was a lot of debate on the second film due to a key charachters death. However, all I'll say is that they stick to the comic storyline, and while I'll miss the charachter I thought it made the movie better. 

Now I can't wait for the third ha. 

Only you can shape your destiny

    No matter where you are in life there will always be people telling you how you are going to end up. Trying to tell you what your destiny is. I personally believe that destinys are not set in stone. They can be changed, however only you can take control and change it. 

    If you believe that you are a bad person because of something in your past, and you can't let it go then you probably will end up bad. However, if you can learn to let go of the past, and move on you can change how things will end. 

    Whether we like it or not there are many things that effect our destiny, our friends, people who we don't get along with, our family, our insecurities. So many things that try, and mold us. We have to learn to block out the things we don't want, and only take strength in the things that help us where we need it most.

    So don't let anyone tell you what your destiny is because you control where it ends. At the same time don't judge others by where they are now, because they too can take control of their destiny for the better. 

Trying too hard, or not enough?

    Have you ever felt like you're trying to hard, or perhaps not trying hard enough with some people in your life? Either one can have bad results to be honest. When you don't try much with people you care about in order to give them space there is always the chance it comes accross as you don't hold as much value in them as you might in actuality. Then when you try to hard at times you can come off as needy, and pathetic. 

    So how do you find a good middle? Sadly the answer for every person varies, because ever person is unique. So you have to get to know how the said person reacts, where some people are ok with stuff like handshakes, and others would be more open to hugs. Test your boundaries, and make notes about when they react badly. 

    The closer the person is to you the easier it will be to determine, a little tip I'd say is to trust what you know to be true, don't let doubts and insecurities cloud your judgement on the situations.