Saturday, July 16, 2016

Out of shell

    A little time as past since my last entry so I'm just gonna use this post to write whatever's going on in my head. Well let's see I can say I've been playing Pokemon Go for the last week and I have been more active while playing this little game than I have in a couple years, even lost some weight. Its also getting me to be more social with people which for me can sometimes be hard out of my comfort zone. I'm very open at hospital when sharing my story so you'd think that personality trait would carry over into other aspects of my life, sadly that's not the case. 
    I keep to myself for the most part not letting many people in, except some exceptional few. But this game has got me talking to new people and getting to know them, and while that is a good thing in my opinion it also raises some bad ha.
    I constantly question everything when it comes to new people (usually I'm a good judge of character though) however, I still find myself wondering are we friends now? Were they just being nice? And honestly i don't know how to deal with those questions because I feel once you ask them to the person in question they could turn out to have been worries in my head, but since I brought them up I would look bad. It's confusing I know. 
    Once I let someone in though I'd do just about anything if they needed help, and I guess that's why I'm so hesitant and cautious I just don't want to be taken advantage of, or left alone down the road.

So the game while fun it's helping me physically wise I'm walking better than I have in months, and it's slowly getting me out of my shell, hopefully I can Lear to tune out all the doubts