Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Little lonely

    You know it feels like sometimes no one hears me. We have all this social media, and in theory it's supposed to connect us to each other. Really all it does is slowly divide us. Those who are worth following, to those who we choose to ignore. It's bad to feel alone, but it's worse to feel alone and then purposely ignored. 
    Lately it feels like I'm faded. I have two sincerely true friends that I know are always with me, and have my back, but I also know they have their own lives to live. I do see one of them more frequently when she's not working though so we find things to get into, the others a bit harder as he's on his own a good ways away, but I know we're best friends too. I don't feel like I've done anything of importance lately. I tell myself that it's just a break from everything I've came from, but sometimes I question just what did I really go through? 
   I miss hanging out with people, and yet medically I know I can't be free when others are at times. I feel like I've reverted back slowly and my walls are going back up. And just to clarify I like my life, and I'm happy, I'm just a little lonely at times lately. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Like a tidal wave

(Just something that I wrote, a small poem) 

I haven't seen you in a hundred days
And as quick as you came you've already faded away
Should I be angry, should I be hurt,
or should I be grateful to finally end this curse

You have this sorta hold on me
I wonder if I'll ever be set free
But I'm always scared of losing you
So I never question the things you do

You came crashing in
My whole world was turned upside down
Like a tidal wave 

Now that you're leaving me
I can barely find the strength to breath.
I should've known from the start
That i'd be the one to drown

I've been thinking bout this upcoming storm
Don't think that I can try and hide it anymore 
Oh I have lost so much sleep
from this secret that I try to keep

Standing here as you go out on your own 
Thinking why am I the one who always ends up cheated 
Why do I always feel so down and alone
Oh yeah cause my history always ends up repeated

What can i do when my best isn’t good enough
And it feels like all that I touch crumbles down?
Cause all that I try 
Just seems to make a mess of things,

As the the pressure becomes to much 
Simply too much to bear 
I can't help but wonder
Did you ever truly care 

As I'm starting to fade
I can see your face
And a peace washes over me
For with all the bad came so much good 

You came crashing in
My whole world was turned upside down
Like a tidal wave