For Good

    You know some people say that people come into our lives for a reason, they teach us things that we needed to know.  Also sometimes the time comes when it seems like we may never meet our friend again, because sadly people come in and out of our lives. Sometimes its not so bad, but when it's someone you care about it can be hard. Especially if them leaving means that they will achieve more, so it would be selfish of you to ask them to stay, even though you truly don't want to see them go. You get torn between your happiness, and theirs. If you truly do care about them let them go, and if they care about you, you wont lose them.
    When people come into our lives, they change us. Now if it's for the better i'm not always sure. I've had so many people in my life, and I know of at least three people i've met in my life that has changed me for good (as in now that I know them, I am forever changed thanks to them. Also to be changed for good doesn't always mean for the better).
    Now remember your changing people too. How you act, treat people, and just by being yourself, you effect people. Do you change people for the better? (I hope that I do).

Just know

So this is just something I wrote about a friend, and decided I'd post it. It is dedicated to someone in particular however, I'm not gonna name any names. Anyways hope you like it all the same.

Simply slip on a mask

    You know it really is just so easy to slip on a mask, play a part, and have no one see how truly damaged you are underneath. No one sees the scars, the cracks threatening to completely shatter you. From afar or even close by you can seem so put together, carefree. No one suspects the pain, or the hurt you carry.

    Why should they? Sometimes we just don't want to share our pains, our problems with people, so we simply act as though we're fine. It's so easy to fool people into thinking your fine, even when you just want to cry. We don't want to be a burden for someone else to have to deal with so we keep quiet, but at nights when it's quiet, the things we repress seem to grow in volume.

    Maybe deep down we want someone to notice at times, but maybe the people we want to notice the most are the ones we don't want to lose, for the fear of our problems pushing them away. We wonder do others have such strong emotions? Are we odd for caring so much? Is there something wrong with us? These plus probably several other questions haunt us into the late hours of the night.
    Emotions are hard to manage at times, but honestly they are a part of everyday life. No matter what we face them. So is it better to just hold them in, and simply wear a mask through life, so not to bring attention to ourselves? I think if you have a friend you can try to share some of it with can help, because holding them in is mentally, and physically draining. Plus from personal experience it all bottles up, and then you hit your breaking point. Then you end up blowing up.  However, I know it's also easy to just act as though your fine. Your scared people may look at you differently if they see the cracks in your armor. 

    I don't have any definite answers because hey i'm human too, and go through all of this as well, thats one thing you have to tell yourself, your not alone. The morning brings a new day, and you never know whatever got you so worked up about, the morning may also shed some light on it. Where maybe you made it more then it was, or it might have resolved itself. Just remember, There has to be a morning after, just keep on looking for the light.

Dancing with the Chattanooga stars

    So I got to go to the special event of dancing with the Chattanooga stars! I had the privilege of having 2 VIP tickets with access to the pre-party where my cousin Victoria, and I got to meet Tony Dovolani (winner of ABC's Dancing with the Stars all-star season)!! (We were actually the last people who got to meet and have photo taken with him) Got to walk a red carpet, had some snacks, and then we found out we had great seats for the show. All of the dancers were truly amazing. (Ha at times we did feel slightly under-dressed there were some pretty formal wearing people at the event)

    After we decided to go and eat Mellow Mushrooms pizza. It was honestly a good night out. Really glad I got to go to this something I won't forget!!

Secrets tie people together?

    Can secrets really tie people together? Something that's private, but yet you trust someone enough to share with in a way showing you trust them. Or do they actually just chain you to people, forcing you to stay close?

    I know if someone trusts you with a secret it's different from someone finding it out themselves then holding it over your head, and taunting you with it. Also if someone does trust you enough to share something honor that trust don't just run off telling every soul you can find. Also remember if you get mad at them, or hurt by them (even though it may be tempting) don't use it then out of spite, because a few seconds of rage can ruin someone's life.

    Know that everyone has secrets, no one knows everything about everyone, so don't assume that you do. How would you feel if everyone knew your most kept secret?

    I think given the right situation yes secrets can strengthen friendships, and relationships however, they can also cause more harm than good at times. 

Nothing can last forever, ..Can it?

    It's sad, but it's honestly true. Nothing really can truly last forever, or can it? Things change over time, so that doesn't mean it's gone completely, it's maybe just a little bit different. Like when a friend moves away, sometimes that feels like the friendship is going to be over, but it doesn't have to be. It may take a little more work but you can still be friends.
    Knowing things that are going to happen in the future isn't always fun, especially if you know something will either have to end or change some. Sometimes you wonder is it worth it to keep it up, or should you end it now and get used to it? No I have to say even though it may be hard cherish, and treasure all the times leading up to that moment. Don't cry because it's over, Smile because you got to experience it. No one can take your memories away. If you value something strongly enough, it usually always finds a way to work out.
   So things may not always be able to stay the same, but some things might just be able to last forever, at least that's my opinion.

fear can be

    Fear, it can be many things for different people. For some it can cripple you, control you into giving up. (like knowing things that are coming, and you will have no control over them). Fear can be powerful, from the right approach fear can stop a person dead in their tracks. With fear it seems smarter, and safest for us to avoid it at times. This kind of fear if harnessed can control some people, and manipulate them (especially if that fear is getting a helping hand).
    Another fear is the type that fuels you to fight back, where you've grown more mad than scared, and your just ready to see it end. The more it attacks you, the more you grow in trying to eliminate it.
    What do you do when the worst has happened and you made it through it? Think about it as if yes you survived whatever the situation was, but you lost everything that matters most to you in the process, and your left with nothing but yourself. Alone. What then? Would fear have any grasps on you? Honestly I don't think it would because if there was nothing for it to target, i'm sad to say but, in that situation I believe most people would jus give up caring, possibly even break down.
    Fear can ruin lives, but you have to remember that fear is apart of life, you just have to learn to live with it, and deal with it. You can't let it control you.

A day and a half

    Well second week in a row my friend Triston took me to treatment, and we actually ended up spending over 13 hours together. Now before you freak out, no nothing went wrong with treatment. Quite the opposite really. We ended up getting out early, like by 2pm, played monopoly, had chick fil a (doubt that will ever change lol) and started watching the captain america movie.
    Afterwards we went back to dalton and helped set up some stuff for RBCC adventure weekend (a vacation bible school). Then I just tagged along to his meeting and practice with his diving coach. We decided after that to get a bite at Steakn'Shake, and made it in time for church where my cousin Kathleen got to come, after we went to sweet spot, and just hung out the three of us.
    So yeah you could say we had a day and a half lol. However, it was nice. I enjoyed being around a friend for so long, honestly today was a good day.
    Also tomorrow I plan on resting so I have energy for the adventure weekend, when your dealing with elementary you need all the energy you can get.

dont push too far

    Ok so yesterday I really over did it, like as in today I paid the price.
lets see it started out with me volunteering at my church, helped go through crates of food, and get it ready to be distributed. Then we went out and bought some sport balls that the kids could play with, and finally we picked up a banner for the church.
    After that I rushed to lead a short bible study due to I had to attend a meeting on adventure weekend at  6:30 and get my instructions for that. Then I went to a different bible study known as DWELL it's a summer bible study. I think that I would have enjoyed it more if I hand't done so much throughout the day. I also know that by the last song I was straining to stay standing (was actually in pain), but didn't want to become the center of attention. It was nice, but my shyness is as thick as a glacier. will see how it goes..
    Anyway so yeah today when I woke up from all of that I was in a lot of pain, and I was stiff. Just goes to show just because i'm doing better doesn't mean i'm 100% sadly. Yeah this week as been crazy busy, in more ways then one, and its going to continue to be busy it seems.
    But yeah honestly I do need to push myself at times, it's healthy. I just don't need to push myself too far, and end up losing everything.

it does matter

    The way we treat people actually does matter. Every person is equal, and has come from their own story, and you may not always know what they've been through. So, why do people think that they are better, or someone is worse? I know in this world it seems impossible to be nice to everyone, but you have to try, even on those days that aren't going so well for you.
    I see it like: if everyone would try to be nice and, put others before themselves, if everyone would do that there would be someone waiting to catch you if you should fall to return the favor. Yes I see the flaw in that plan, not everyone is gonna put themselves last, but do you see the possible good in it?
    Those little snipes at people may seem like a joke to you, but you don't know how powerful words can be. Something considered to be funny to you, could be all it takes to push someone off the edge.  I personally know the feeling I get when someone is genuinely nice to me (that's another point) when you know that someone cares you cant buy that.
    Now genuine and just going through the motions are two different things you may have a bad day, and end up just going through the motions at times thats ok we are all human, but always strive to be sincere in what you do, people can tell the difference. I know for me when someone is just faking being nice, it leaves me feeling worse because I feel like I'm just not that important.
    You know how you like to be treated, and you should know how to treat others, we have to be there for each other, through good times, and bad.  Just try to be nice and sincere to everyone you meet. You just might be surprised at some of the reactions.

True colors revealed

    When you have people in your life, if you are close eventually they may start acting differently around you the more they get comfortable with you. Sometimes it's not so good, someone who was once considered a close friend could end up being no more then someone who just uses you when they need something, then once they've got what they want they decide to go. Basically they have fun with you, but only when they are happy.
    Other times however, the closer you get to someone the better they get. You see they actually enjoy time spent with you. They don't hold things over your head, and you see if they truly can, they would drop everything to help you out.
    How do you know what is someone's true color? You don't know until they reveal it. Usually in a tense, or unpleasant situation when the person is tired, stressed, and just forgets and slips up. What are your true colors? and does anyone know them?