Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Breath out

    Have you ever been holding your breath, twiddling your thumbs, watching the clock go round in anticipation of an uncertain outcome? This past weekend I honestly can say I have, and I'm happy to report that everything turned out fine! It feels so good to finally just breath out. 
    But the waiting game is just painful, in my case things worked out, but sadly for some people the worst case scenarios do happen at times. So I wonder do those people ever get to breath out? Or do they have to keep holding it in?
    If you're going through something and don't have anyone to talk to, I can imagine that just makes it worse. No matter what the outcome turns out to be life will continue. Even writing that feels like a little bit lame, because when your in that place, you may not think that's possible, but it is. Things may not be exactly how they were before, but it will go on. Till one you day you can just let it roll off your shoulder and breath. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Always judged

    You can say what you want, it's what's on the inside that matters, it's how you see yourself that's important, only person holding yourself back is you. While yes most of that is sincerely true, in this day and age there's more to it than what meets the eye. Because there are people who feel the need to flaunt their advantages, and why shouldn't they? Reverse the roll and I'm sure they actually feel like there are people better off than themselves. So for them I guess you could say it's defensive. Then there are the offensive people.. You know the ones that are highlighted in those over the top high school movies usually involving a dance and a queen bee? While the movies may be a little dramatic, there are people who actually look for ways to make themselves feel better while putting down those around them.
    With the media, and social networks we are constantly being judged, or at least feel like we are. There are those that can't get enough likes, follows, hearts, and then there are those left wondering why they don't get any. The sad part is ten years ago this wasn't even an issue. In this era though it feels like the stakes are higher than ever at times, our photos, our comments, everything we do virtually is judged. 
    What is the standards being based on? Well for starters I'll be honest looks are what is at the head of the ratings. Vanity is deadly, but it's also controlling, and people with what society defines as attractive, or pleasing to the eyes automatically get a boost ahead of us who lets just say don't lol. 
    The second thing that is judged is talent, and yes looks gets ranked over talent that's not any kind of news.  People with skills, like those that can sing, make music, create things with words, create things with art, and all the other skills out there those things help you stand out, and yes you're judged on them. Because just like you honestly have talent at writing that poem, or taking that black and white photo, there are thousands of others right there with you. 
    Lastly, and I mean lastly as if people actually stay around long enough to get to judge this part. Your personality. Who the real you is underneath all the other stuff. That light that shines from within that sparks into everything else. 
    It's easy to feel like someone is better than you in some area, odds are that they are. However odds are in an area you're better than them. But it's not about trying to outdo other people despite what our society has come to believe. Getting everyone to see that we are all equal, is a nice dream, but it's a long way away from reality. I'm not saying it's impossible as I've met truly sincere kind hearted people who have their hearts on their sleeves, proving what I always like to say "that there is hope, always hope". 
    So until that reality comes to be, other than ignoring things what can we do? Because sometimes you just can't ignore the issues you are facing.  That's when you have to do something most people have trouble with. Reach out and ask for help. You'd be surprised at who might show up.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Do I?

    Let's be honest I'm kinda different lol, I lead and interesting life at times. My medical file is a novel, physically I have some issues standing straight, and walking, mentally like other people I have self doubts. And despite all of this I wouldn't really ask to change my life. 
    Do I wish more people would have stayed around and not faded away? Yes, but it makes me value the ones who stayed even more (and no I'm not angry at anyone who did, I'm a lot to take on full time lol). Do I enjoy all the medical procedures? Not particularly, but everyone has some parts of their life that just aren't fun, and I think in some ways it's all made me tougher. Do I wish I had a more normal appearance, or at least what I picture in my mind of how I'd like to look? Yeah honestly, that's probably one thing at times I wish I could stand up perfectly straight and see how I look, but at the core I know we are all unique and best just the way we are. 
    Everyone one has parts of their life they may not like, but those parts help make us who we are, and I wouldn't wanna change that. 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

R5 third year in a row!


    So after a long eventful day, I am just now getting home, and my bed has never felt better. Today I got to see R5 again in concert for the third year in a row! As well I got the chance to hang out with them again! It was their #SometimeLastNightTour Let me just say it was an epic show!
    My friend Kaelyn went with me, and we had the VIP experience. The concert was at the Verizon wireless amphitheater in Alpharetta, Ga.
    Geting to hang out backstage with them again was so much fun, and even though my hair wasn't blonde this time, they remembered me! (I think my walker is a giveaway though lol), but they were all sincerely nice, and welcoming. plus when they noticed my custom phone case they all seemed to like it. The line waiting to see them kinda drained me and I had some trouble standing for the photo, but I noted they had my back literally, and kept me supported!
    The show was great they played some of my favorite songs (Cali girls, Cant forget about you), and some from their new album that was released the same day! (They even told us how they ran by target to get their album, but it was sold out!). I love the new stuff too! (All night, Dark side, Lightning strikes). This bands music helped me get through physical therapy back when I was working on getting out of wheelchair, and they continue to just get better.
    I can't wait for the next show I get to see them! Also if you haven't heard them I seriously recommend you give them a try!

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Fourth of July 2015

    Another Fourth of July is here, and with it comes the usually cookout/fireworks at Mamaw's with the other Watkins. We've got the fireworks ready, actually picked them up after treatment last week. Lately things have been pretty calm a few doctor appointments here and there, but really not much has been happening, but so much has been in the works getting ready lol. Tonights dinner for starters, then next week I'm going to see R5 in concert again! As well a Disney trip has been planned for October with Kala, and her family (I'm really looking forward to this trip!) So I guess all this calm time is just to let me get some rest so I can enjoy all thats coming up.
    Hope everyone has a safe, but fun filled Fourth of July.