Lesson Learned

    OK so without "cants" and "donts" it's honestly hard to tell where the fun is. That lesson I can honestly say I learned the hard way. You see I am house sitting for a friend this week, as well as watching their dog. So I'm on my own this week, (there is a pool). The week started with staying up late, eating junk food, and relaxing by the pool. No one around to say  "no you can't do this"and "don't do that".  At first it was fun, but that didn't last too long. Staying up too late, and swimming at night resulted with me being super tired during the morning, and eating nothing but junk food results with stomach aches, and not too much left over to eat during the week.

    So I can honestly say that the "Cant's" and "Dont's" that are tossed around are usually in our best interest. Now I'm not saying that all of them are good, but I definitely now see the value in them. I also plan on using a few of them on myself the rest of this week haha.

Lets Talk Love

    It's the thing we all want, it's the thing we all are searching for whether we want to admit it or not, but what exactly is Love? Some say its Sex, and thats it. That there is no relationship as long as your having sex your loved. I honestly don't see it that way, I mean honestly come on for love there has to be a relationship, and attraction to the other person. I also don't think that Sex defines love at all really. (I'm honestly a strong believer that sex is for after marriage).

    Some say that its just two really good friends, "I married my best friend" I've heard before, and I think thats a good way to start to describe love, friends like each other already, they know each others faults, yet they are always together.

    Some think that love is a willingness, where you would do anything possible to save the other person even if it means putting yourself in harms way. I like this way of thinking, to me it just feels right. If you Love someone you want to protect them, and help them, so that seems to fit.

   What do I think love is? honestly I think it has nothing to do with sex, Love is finding someone you don't ever want to be away from. I definitely think that you have to be friends, or grow into being friends. Its where you put all your trust into another person.

Well thats just a small opinion on Love

Surprise surprise I'm doing just fine

    Ok so the last post was what one of my issues is, but you know what? I've had a breakthrough. No I am not going to sit here, I have done nothing that needs me to have to defend myself, and I have done nothing to deserve what has happened over the years. I am a good person, I care about others, and try to help people out when I can. I may not be the smartest, but I am smart enough, and I may not be the most athletic, but I am working on that. For so long I've been quietly sulking, and emotional at times going up, and down all the time, but no more! I'm finally moving on, if you don't want me in your life thats just fine, but please don't drag me along, and use me until your ready to discard me. 

    I treat people with respect, the way that I want to be treated, and expect the same in return. I have never wronged anyone intentionally, and if I have I immediately apologized once it was brought to my attention. For so long I've been killing myself trying to figure out what I did wrong, but no more, I didn't do anything especially anything to deserve what I got.

    Some have used my weaknesses against me in order to hurt me, and in the past yes it hit the bullseye, but today, and for the future? Surprise surprise I'm doing just fine. I have decided that its not worth the emotional trouble. If this is how you treat people I'm honestly happy to have you gone. Sorry if that wasn't what you planned, but honestly I've finally broken free

Too Trusting

    I am definitely what you would call too trusting. Despite all the burns I've endured dealing with trust, and new friends I still find myself so willing to trust the good in everyone. Yet I also can tell the hesitation I have, like when I'm quiet in a crowded room. I'll answer direct questions, but I seldomly speak my own mind unless I've really gotten comfortable. I've seen the story play out so many times where it ended badly, yet that doesn't stop me from trying again, and again. Sadly it feels like the people I finally break through with and start getting to know, they end up disappearing from my life. 

    I know this post is probably sounding like a broken records from other post, but this is honestly one of weakest points, and its just something that I need to vent/talk about at times. Don't get me wrong I have great friends that I would never trade for anything, but I still have doubts that they too will one day disappear. Honestly sometimes I don't think I'm good enough, smart enough, normal enough, the list goes on and on. So when people act as if they want to be my friends I have to hold myself down, and not explode all over them. People seem to like me from the things I hear, I just cant seem to figure out why at times. 

Sometimes, just apologize

    We all have wronged someone at one point or another in our life whether it be a friend or an enemy, lets just admit to that. Often it managed to blow up in our faces causing real trouble for our lives. There are times when we unintentionally wronged someone, and there are times we intentionally wronged someone. After, no matter what we try, the other person just won't have anything to do with us, whether it was intentional or not.

    Sadly sometimes however, we just need to swallow our pride, and finally say "Im sorry". It may not be the easiest, but it's probably one of the only things that will ever end some wars. Sometimes thats all it will take, and things will go back to normal. However, there will be times when the bridges are burned, and the apology just won't be strong enough. Even if you weren't the one at fault, it shows your valor for stepping up, and just showing that you want to put it behind you and move on.

Green eyed monster

    There is so much in the world for us to want, its hard not to be greedy at times, but we need to be careful because jealousy can be a terrible monster, it can make nice normal people cruel, and short sighted. Believe me I know I get a case of the green eyed monster myself from time to time, but if its not taken control of, it can seriously get out of hand. Maybe your best friend ended up stealing your date, or perhaps it seems like everyone has the newest phone or gadget, while your stuck with the same crap you've always had. For me its hard watching people with better abilities than I have, there are things that I wish I could do, (or could have even gotten the chance to do, but didn't), then having to watch people who are able to do the ability that I can't, it's honestly really hard at times. Like I said though jealousy is not something you need to hold on to for too long, its one of those emotions that are like a seed, and once it blooms, lets just say its lethal and deadly.

So be wary when you see the flashes of green in your eyes when you pass your reflection, because no one wants to be a green eyed monster.

New year, New self

    So today is the beginning of my 2nd college year (first clad starts in less than 3 hours 8AM), and already I have so many goals!

    The first thing that I'm wanting to do, is actually comprehend the math that I'm supposed to learn lol. The second thing is I'm wanting to get more athletic, by being able to run around Dalton State track, and other places without having to stop and rest (someone has already shown doubts of me being able to do that so I wanna prove them wrong!) lol. The third thing is that I want to eat better, however I honestly don't eat that bad now (just need to cut out the soft drinks, and make time to eat more than once or twice a day, little meals VS few big meals).

    So yes with this new school year comes new goals. I'm cutting some strings, but also reconnecting old chains. Praying this year is a good one!

MomentuM night

    Well last night (it's like 2am as I'm posting this) I went to MomentuM at CrossPoint in dalton with my cousin Kathleen (who was playing the keyboard), and my friend Triston. The music was really good, and do was the service! After Kathleen and I raced home do I could grab some clothes, then we quickly got to the movies where it was us, Triston, Casey, and Chad. We all saw "the Bourne legacy" it was good kinda jumpy and, not a very consistent storyline, but it was fun going with a group. Plus Kathleen is soon to be gone to college so I'm glad I got to spend time with her :)

Also might be going back to MomentuM tonight with Triston, so will see lol.

Olympics fan, yes I am

    Well the Olympics have been going on for awhile (yes I know that), but I just thought I would say my interests in them. I actually honestly enjoy the Olympics. The events I enjoy watching are Swimming, Diving, and Gymnastics. In swimming yeah I'm rooting for Michael Phelps (I actually have his autograph in my room). Really bummed that this is his last year competing, but its awesome how he has 22 gold medals!! In Diving I'm Watching Nick McCrory since he is from Durham, North Carolina (where I went to get treatment for so many years, so always a fan of athletes from there. Also in the Diving, I'm watching, and rooting for Tom Daley, he's honestly a talented diver for his age. (have an autographed copy of his book lol). Gymnastics I'm not watching anyone in particular, but my cousin grace is a factor of why I watch them, as well as the Television show series "Make it or Break it". 

    I also purchased this Great Britain shirt to show my support (Yes I root for Great Britain, and USA, deal with it lol). Its a replica of the Team great Britain's jersey, and honestly I cant wait for it to arrive!

    Also I have been collecting the Topps Olympic 2012 hopefuls trading card series (have all but 8 cards our of 100!!) even have two authentic hand signed autographed cards. those were fun to collect and learn about all the athletes, hope to complete my set.

   

Who you are

    People say that "beauty is beneath the skin" however, in todays time honestly not many people see it that way. Most people are judged by their looks, and honestly thats just not right. The most beautiful of people can easily be just as shallow, and as for the people who don't look like many think they should, are usually the nicest of the people. Now don't get me wrong I know thats not always the case lol.

    We are always trying to better ourselves I think. Maybe trying to fix, or alter our appearance (Honestly I think everyone has something that they would like to change about themselves if they could, I know I do lol). Maybe trying to excel more at certain sports, or get in better shape. Sometimes we even try to alter ourselves for someone else. However, you can't let someone send you spinning backwards just because they don't like who you are. If you are happy with who you are, how far you've come, and all that you have accomplished, well thats all that really matters. I don't think that you should ever hold yourself to another persons standards. Its your life not theirs.

Achilles Heel

    We all have a our own greatest weakness, something that if used against us we will fail. Mine? I believe its my loyalty to my friends, I trust the people I care about probably far too much, and that will probably be my downfall at times (already has actually). Other peoples greatest weakness could be a strong fear they have, like fire, the dark, or spiders. Just things that get you to stop, and buckle. If you don't know what yours achillies heel is, you better find out. Its easier to prevent yourself from getting into situations versus finding yourself in one too little too late.

Back into a schedule

    Well looks like school starts back the 13th of august for me, and after yesterdays ordeal of trying to get all information and make payments I can honestly say I'm ready for this class to be over.

    Sadly my class is at 8am, a morning class, something I'm not too good with, so in order to do well in the class I'm trying not to stay up quite as late as I normally do. A little hard for me? Yes, yes it is, but I think I will be able to manage lol.