Forever Young (at heart)

    It seems to be that some people see me as immature. I see myself as just that, myself. Just because I turned 21, does not mean that i'm going to just change who I am. 

    My music taste is my taste, I won't ask you to change the music you listen to so don't ask me to. I am not ashamed of the music I listen to: Miley Cyrus, R5, Demi Lavato, Selena Gomez, OneDirection, Bridget Mendler, Ross Lynch, Dolly Parton, Emily Osment, Stereo Skyline, All Time Low, Tenth Avenue North, Colton Dixon, Hollywood Ending, Kelly Clarkson, Raven Symone, Taylor Swift, Sam Phillips.  I'm not changing what I enjoy just because some see some of my tastes as young, well i see it why would I wanna listen to some of the trash that is out there, when I enjoy all that I listed, and not have to deal with cussing every other word.. seems to me my logic is actually quite mature to keep my mind clean. 

    Same thing for the TV shows I enjoy: Gilmore Girls, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Pretty Little Liars, Switched at Birth, Austin & Ally, Once Upon a Time.  Just like my music I'm not going to just for no reason, change everything. If you enjoy something you shouldn't let society dictate you into not liking it, and vice versa you shouldnt let society be your judge for what you do enjoy.

    Lastly my friends, sure some are younger than me, but honestly at times i think they are more mature than me. Plus why should I not be friends with someone I like? I don't see the age as an issue anymore, and if people ask I simply say "They are friends, and have been there for me when others haven't". I see it as friends are valuable, and when you have good ones, you'll keep them. 

    I am older, but honestly I'm young at heart. I find Disney fascinating, I get myself into funny situations, and usually find a way out. I am creative.  I don't see anything wrong with my life, how I dress, act, and just live life. "Who says you have to grow up?" a quote by Walt Disney. 

So yeah, I may be 21, but i'm not changing anything in my life. You can call me immature, which iImay be at times, but I'm just gonna say that I'm Forever young in my heart.

passed my first online final!

    This is just a short post because I just wanted to post that I just took my final for my online writing class, and passed it with an 86!! so now all I have to do is print out the completion letter. Also have to be thinking about what class ill take next.
    Well its honestly really late, but I wanted to post this lol, so goodnight for now!

Circle

    When I really sit down and think about it, I have a good life. I have friends and family who care about me. I have nice things (to me they are nice at least). I'm not completely broke I get enough to get by on, and I know people who would offer to help if I honestly needed it.
    I think that even if your life is going good, your entitled to times where you are just down. Because we are humans with emotions, and I know personally that life is crazy, unpredictable, and sometimes unfair. We have fears, doubts, regrets, but we do somehow have to get past them eventually, but blocking them and setting them aside won't work that is just not dealing with the problem and it will be there waiting.
    I wonder sometimes, why do I get this feeling of loneliness at times? It just comes from nowhere, and I don't do anything that should trigger it. It just comes and goes as it pleases. I want to be someone one day, I want to be famous, or at least someone who is known of. I want my writing to get me there. But, some of the doubts are that I'll never amount to anything. Others are that I'll be alone, isolated, abandoned. Then one is that I'll be forgotten.
    But then I start to think how well my life is going, and it just keeps going round, and round like a circle into the late hours of the night.

21st Birthday seeing R5 live

    Ok so to celebrate my birthday back in november, I purchased concert tickets to see R5. So yesterday that is what I was doing.  Let me just say one thing first. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! Ok now that I have that out of my system lol. The concert was in Atlanta, at the Masquerade. Since it was for my birthday I also had purchased for myself the VIP experience. (My friend Kala also went with me, however she didn't have the VIP upgrade) We got to the venue about two o'clock and we were second in the VIP line. Around four they let us VIP's go on in we got to watch sound check, and have Q&A with the band plus we got early entrance into the venue.

    I was right up front like the stage was arms length away. They had opening acts, one being Hollywood Ending (a surprise for me seeing how I like them as well). Then when they finally went on themselves it was epic. I was able to stay standing, or on my knees for over seven hours (yeah i'm really sore today).  I knew all their songs, and they were just awesome. 

    During the Q&A I went to buy some souvenirs, and  Ryland Lynch (Manager, not preformer, but just as nice and cool in person) was back there. The lady who was helping with my stuff since I was losing energy, mentioned to him about my birthday and got my picture with him. That was really cool, but after the show when it was my turn for group photo (Also part of the VIP upgrade) when I set walker aside, and walked up to them (remember out of a sold out show, 1100 people) they recognized me and congratulated me for my birthday, that was truly a memory! I also got to tell them that it was their music that helped me get through physical therapy that led me out of the wheelchair. Honestly they are a truly nice group, are very talented, and just nice to be around. 

    I'm so glad I got to go to the show, and meet them in person :) This birthweek started out great, and it kept going, ending with a BANG. Honestly best birthday ever, Blessed I got to celebrate my 21st birthday with R5, and that during the week I got to pre-celebrate with friends and family!

Pre 21st birthday celebration!

    Ok so today, I had my 21st birthday dinner with my moms side of the family since tomorrow on my actual birthday I will be at treatment, and might be too tired to try and celebrate. I will be celebrating with some of dads side friday night at red lobster (yum!). One key difference you ask from this dinner at my moms to the birthday dinners from the past? Well this one, was one of the first in years where I invited actual friends, as in more than one (and as you can see they showed up).  It was honestly a really good night for me, plus everyone got along.

    Tonight instead of feeling lonely, forgotten or out of place. I felt loved, included, and the doubts that the devil had chained to me were shattered. I am so grateful for my friends, and I thank god for them constantly. I hope I can keep this feeling, but I know the devil will try to manipulate me again, but i'm going to hold on to the truth, that I have friends who not only do they care about me, but I care about them a lot, and  I would fight for them.

    So I can honestly say that tonight has been one of the best birthdays, and nights i've had ever :)

Open up

    Sometimes we feel like were on the outside looking in. Like we don't fit in, or it seems like were not wanted around. Sometimes we choose to push people away so that we don't get hurt. Then there are times when someone is kind to us, and it shakes us up. Do we trust this person is sincere, or just assume its an act? People don't think others understand how they feel, when in actuality I would bet that there are people around us going through similar things. You just have to open up to them, and not always assume the worst is going to happen if you try. Sometimes we don't even see the people who are around us that care the most. Thats because we feel alone, we don't open up, and i'm sorry to say, but if you never open up to people you will be forever alone. 

Few updates

So just a few updates of things that's been going on, as well as things to come.
Well I switched from dalton state to Georgia northwestern online courses. I am over half way through my first class, and I'm honestly enjoying it. On another note been to the orthodontist, and got impressions for a new retainer that will have springs, as well they want to scrape the enamel off my teeth to make them smaller. So that's gonna be fun.
Also this coming Saturday (the 20th) I'll be going to Atlanta to see R5 in concert, (also will be my first concert, not to mention a 21st birthday gift to me from me lol. Yes my 21st birthday is coming up I'm kinda excited about that too lol.
So that's about it just wanted to get some of the things that's been going on posted finally. I'm so grateful that it's trivial things now, as contrasted to when I was younger where it would be surgeries, doctor appointments and other stuff like that. Now I get to try and enjoy life :)

Thoughts

How is it that some things can effect us so easily? A slight comment, or even the silence of no reply or comment. Even when we know how stable things are, we can still.. I don't know how to say it, but I guess let doubts, and fears push through. It's silly I know, but maybe it's just insecurities, but I can't help myself at times from thinking when I open up, that maybe I opened up too much (when in reality I probably didn't), and I get silence, I can't help but feel like I'm about to lose someone. Then I wish I hadn't said anything, but then I counter I shouldn't lie and not say anything otherwise the relationship is superficial, because if you can't talk about serious stuff, it's not that good.

I guess I need to learn to trust completely, sometimes we will get silence, but for all we know they got busy, and the feeling of wanting to crawl under a rock may be a slight overkill, but your justified to feel that way, but remember that you might be blowing things out of proportion. Is it easy? I'm not sure. I've been hurt in this area so maybe in my case it's a little tougher, but one thing I know is if you think about the good things it calms your nerves for awhile.

Treatment last week was one of the rare ones that drained me of energy instead of give me energy (been sleepy a lot this week), so maybe that's a factor into the freakout as well lol.

Haters gonna hate

    Ok so the title to this post is something I have come to learn is true. It doesn't matter who you are people will always find a reason to try, and bring you down. There are a couple reasons that I get targeted, the first reason is some of my best friends are younger than me. My reply to that? So its weird to hang out with people I enjoy VS spending time with people I have no desire to be with? My friends are my friends because I find them nice decent caring people, and they are more mature than people my age or older for that matter.

    Hold on to your hats because another reason, is because i'm doing so well. People are like, what made you so special, why not me? That is harder to reply to, honestly I was just lucky. I want to say I pushed myself, which I did, but I know there are others who push themselves, and they don't get the same results. Honestly I think it's life, a game of chance, where some score big, some just get by, and some (as wrong as it is) slips through the cracks. Just because you pray, and don't get better don't blame god, your still important. As for the people who bring this to my face, I just say that i'm not 100% well, I still struggle, and continue to push myself daily.

    So you gotta know, when someone targets you, don't let their words sting you. If thats the way they act do you really wanna hang around them? I know that's not always the case, but just stick to people who care about you, and you'll be fine.

Day at the orthodontist

    So today was spent in atlanta at the orthodontist, it was a quick trip, but I go back in May to get my new retainer, as well have springs attached to them, and they are going to scrape off some of the enamel from my teeth in order to try and make more room.  So also I didn't get to see the dentist even though the office is in same office.. but I have an appointment for the end of this month to see them though... would have ben easier to have had it checked out today but whatever I guess.

    I did get to eat lunch at the olive garden though, so it wasn't all bad :)

100th post

    Can you believe it? This is the 100th blog post! I have been posting for about two years now, and I can't believe its finally the 100th post. Also the blog as had over 3000 views! As you can tell some changes have been made since this blog started, as I neared this post I thought a redesign was in order, as well as a new address (which is now: www.cameronlives365.com ). I've been reading past posts, and i'm honestly glad that I decided to start this blog, its a way I can express myself, and a way people can learn about me.
    I will definitely continue to post more on this blog, and hopefully you continue to enjoy it. I know that I have a few followers, not sure about others, but like I said when I first started "i'm writing this for me, you will either love it, or you don't have to read it". That still stands. (Hoping you love it though lol)
    Well heres to the first 100 posts, and here to the next 100!