No headlights in the dark

    Sometimes it feels like were driving with no headlights in the dark. We want to reach out to someone, but we don't know where they are. We need them to help us pick up the shards of ourselves, after shattering from quite a fall. People don't understand that feeling left out or not included, can have lasting effects on a person. Yet that knowledge doesn't stop people from hurting others.
    If everyone would try to be a light to others, maybe no one would feel so trapped in darkness. They may not feel so alone. I understand you can't be nice to everyone because we're human, but that doesn't mean we can't try. You never know when someone is missing someone terribly, or when they are hurting from things aren't going so smoothly for them.
    More than often people get looked over, they get swept aside because they bring up their problems and the people don't wanna give them the time of day, so in return the hurting person clams up. They don't wanna be a bother, and all it takes is one person sending them away for them to give up trying to reach out. I don't know about you, but i'd never want that on my shoulders.
    Try being a light for those people driving without headlights. You might make someones day, you might make a friend, you might even save their life.

The end we expected

    Sometimes the what we expected to be the end, turns out not to be the end. That can be both a good thing, and a bad depending on the situation. For example when you're hurting, and you think something coming up will be closure, and help you start to move on. Only it comes sadly nothing changes, and you're still left with your feelings. Other times when you think something has already ended, it finds a way to resurface trying for another chance. All you can do is hope that this time it lasts.
 

Choosing the right thing

    Have you ever done something you know is right, but still felt awful after you went through with it? Last night I did. If everyones telling me I did the right thing, why do I feel like I did the wrong thing? I guess you could say it's my nerves, not sure how it will play out. 

    When you think about it the right thing is usually never easy. However, going through with it just because you know it's the right thing is part of what makes it right. The will to step up when someone else won't, even a friend at times. In the long run the right path will always end up better than sticking to lies, and secrets. I still can't help but feel like it could all unravel at any moment. 

    I always prefer the option where no one has to be hurt however, that option rarely presents itself. With that being said whats done is done, and will just have to see what happens next. 

All about change

    Well the time I've tried to avoid has finally arrived, and with it key people in my life are off to college this weekend, and while I know I won't lose these people completely it still hurts. I've tried to keep busy, spend some time with them, and even tried to block out my emotions. While I treasure the times I got to have, and learned that the emotions good or bad, are meant to be there, none of it slowed down time. I wonder if other people go through this. I also wonder if any of these people will miss me. 

    Life is all about change, and that's all that's happening here. Just a little change. A little change won't ruin anything unless one lets it. I'll be honest it's been draining emotionally, but I've still got some fight left in me. Unlike other times nothing is ending, simply just changing. I've got the link starting back up Sunday nights, and I'm continuing with the children's ministry this year for Sunday mornings. I'll find ways to keep myself occupied. I'm thinking that after the hump things will get easier if I see things don't really change too much (And hopefully can schedule some visits). I know to some people my feelings sound probably crazy, but they are mine. 

Life isn't fair at times

   So here lately I've noticed I haven't been doing as well as I could. There are times when I'm washed over with the feeling of loneliness. It feels like I'm losing people ony life left and right, and I don't know what to do. The ones who I turn to, won't always be as close by anymore, and honestly that is hurting me inside. 

    I'm gonna risk sounding selfish, but I just want to say it's not fair. I can handle a lot, and honestly I have. However, having to lose people just seems like a cruel twist of fate. I just hope they don't forget me, and leave me all together. 

    No one likes to be alone, there are times we always need someone to be with. It takes time though to get to that level of trust in other people. 

    I know in the end I'll be ok. I'm just saying as we all already know. Life isn't fair at times.

The weight of the world

    Have you ever just wanted to surrender? To just let everything that you've been carrying fall to the ground, and just watch it all shatter?  Do you ever ask yourself, is there always gonna be another battle down the road?

    Sometimes it feels like we never get a break in life, that something always comes up. To be honest if you're constantly thinking along those lines, I think you're forgetting to focus on the good. It's easy to let yourself fall prey to all the negative parts of your life, but usually the bad parts of our lives are somehow connected to the good. 

    The good aspects are easier to fade into the background as opposed to the bad. I know personally that in my life at times I have to take a step back and look at all the good that goes on in my life, and the the bad does not rule. 

    I know sometimes it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. However, we have to learn that we are allowed to take a break, we can set things aside every so often. If you drop something usually someone will find a way to catch it if it's truly of importance. 

    So don't let yourself be crushed by everything your carrying. 

Fading

    Have you ever felt like you're fading away? Like you're drifting apart from people? You go into a room full of people, but can't help the feeling lurking in the back of your mind that you don't belong there anymore.

   You feel like your sinking, and you don't even reach out for help, because you don't think anyone's around, so you just keep sinking deeper. It's hard during these times because I think the more you pull away, the more you're hurting yourself. Though I can't say I'm any exception. 

    Over time things fade from your life however, not everything. I believe some things while they may not always be the same, they will always stay a part of your life. We as people do change, our likes, our hobbies, all sorts of things over time. Sometimes we get replaced, that's never fun, but life isn't always fun I guess. 

    The things that truly matter however, will always find some kind of way to keep you a part of them, like you would vice versa. Sometimes the change can be good though, while yes hard to transition into, but for the better.

    During the hard times all I can honestly say is just try to hold on to what you know in your heart, and let what happens happen.