Crack of dawn

    Good morning, well to those of you who are awake that is. You see as of late I have not been having the most restful of nights. I thought it would eventually just pass, that it was just a phase, but sadly that does not seem to be the case. Since it is the crack of dawn, i figured why not for a brief time crack open, and catch a glimpse of some of whats going on in my mind. During the day I'm tired, at nights its hard to fall into a slumber, the thoughts simply won't quit racing through my head. Of course when I finally do manage to fall asleep, it's been called the sleep of the dead, and not many people have yet to succeed in waking me.
    I think the stress of daily life is catching up with my body, and it's not mixing all too well. What could I possibly have that's stressful in my easy life you ask? Well for starters I've had a falling out with a friend of whom I've known for most of my life just a little over a month ago. and they were pretty set in their decision. Plus the fact I've heard nothing from them since then speaks volume on its own. While on a similar subject, change is in the air while a few more friendships may soon be changing, hopefully not for the worse.
    Then there are times I think about what am I doing? Life is passing me by, and I'm floating. Granted right now is an ok time to float, but I just know that I don't wanna float forever. I'm surrounded by people daily who are moving on to better things, and at times I feel like I'm getting left behind. There are also times I just feel inferior to them.  However, at the same time I'm sincerely thrilled, and happy for them, so it's kind of a constant back and forth.
    Now while I am truly thankful for the drug that has helped me tremendously, having to take it every week for life, kinda gets you stuck in a pattern. It never changes, and while yes it helps, I do still hope that a permanent solution one day comes about. Having to make sure my schedule works around it, as well as securing people to help take me at times isn't the easiest of challenges. I would never not want this medicine that helps me in so many ways, I just at times wish that I was not chained to it. However the benefits here far outweigh the few discomforts.
   There are a few other things that are floating around in my mind from time to time however, I believe it's best to not put everything to text. Everyone is entitled to their own private thoughts, think about whats floating around in your mind. Would you wanna share it all?  Well thats it, I might now try to get some sleep ha.
    Remember though everyone has things going on in their life that you probably don't know about, so don't assume you know everything. The one thing though that I've learned is that with time all things begin to fade, just how much time? Well it varies from person to person. So respect people, and be kind. You never know when a small act is all they need to make their day.