Almost off the edge

    Have you ever felt like someone or something was trying to push you closer and closer to falling off the edge? Maybe you feel that way right now. We all have breaking points, but we survive. Also guess what?  You're still standing tall, they or it didn't push you off. You managed to hold on and stay strong. 

    Sometimes we forget that part, through all the stress, heartache, and drama we forget to realize, we're still here and we are still ok. We are stronger than people give us credit for, and sometimes we're stronger than we give ourselves credit for. 

   So next time you can't get over how far you feel you got drove over the edge, remember whatever it was, you're still standing. It didn't beat you. 

Seventh poetry post ~Look back and Smile~

People are starting to worry for me

It's been six months, And I already miss my friend

The thoughts that scream dragging me down from inside my head 

Seem so loud, feel so loud

When I'm all alone on those days when my sky is gray

And I need a a little reminder of how things truly are

Instead of giving in an seeing how things are worse and couldn't get better 

I look back and smile 

Tell myself out loud those clouds of doubt hold no power over me

Distance may be between, but for matters of the heart 

Nothing's ever as bad as it seems 

People will try to knock me down, that's simply a fact of life

No matter who you are 

But I choose to ignore what they say

I look back and smile 

For in my heart I know what's true

With all my strength I will push through 

Holding on to what I know to be 

No longer am I second guessing 

Believing in hope I will survive 

Knowing your there

Knowing you care

I look back and smile 

Should have known

    Well an update on the scavenger hunt I had worried about. Turns out I didn't need to use the walker after all however, I asked a few peopl I trusted with their opinions on the idea, and they all agreed it was a good idea and not to let it hold me back. I talked to Beth among those few peoe and she informed me that the scavenger hunt was more different poses, or ideas for photos as opposed to different locations so, wouldn't be much walking. 

    I ended up taking my walking cane and it did the job just fine, and after the reactions of the guys in my small group I realized I had had no reason to think the walker would have been an issue.these guys I have been leading for years now and I think we they might actually like me at times lol. Most of them liked the stick, one even said he saw how it helped when he tried it. We got some good pictures and it was a great way to start off the year! 

Can't wait to see how this year unfolds in this part of my life! 

Another weekend

    Another weekend is happening, and honestly I'm ready for it to be over haha. You see last night was fun, I got to hang out with my BFFL kala. We played with my camera and sparklers, we are getting pretty good with this painting with light thing, it looks epic when you get a good shot.

    Tomorrow the Link starts back up at RBCC and while I'm really excited to get back to hanging with my group, I'm kinda anxious/nervous. You see to start off the year we are doing an Instagram scavenger hunt. And I might have to use my walker. I know what you're thinking "so what?". I haven't used a wheelchair or walker at the link in two years.. So it just feels like taking a step backwards. I'm just hoping no one looks at me differently. I wanna participate in everything, and while I wish I could do it like everyone else I have to make sure I don't hurt myself trying to keep up. I like to hide this things that are wrong with me as most everyone else does I suspect at times. 

    Guess I just gotta go with my head held high, and act like I don't care lol, conceal don't feel. I'm sure it will go over well, and I'm just overthinking this, I just hate that at times I still need a walker, or even a scooter. Some people joke saying what about the perks like at Walt Disney and honestly if I could stand up straight, and be able to stay up and wait in the regular lines I would prefer that. But that's just me lol.