3rd Poetry post ~New Day~

"New Day"

(By Cameron Watkins)

Things are bad life seems rough

but I gotta try to stay looking tough

cause I know things are about to change

We’ve all done things we may regret

but please try not to worry or fret

the darkness may sleep in your soul

but now its time to take control 

You can’t let people keep you down

when you fall and hit the ground

it may seem nearly impossible

but you gotta always keep standing proud

You don’t have to face it on your own

because your never truly alone

open your heart and you will see

you will always have exactly what you need

The chains their gone, gone for good

the light floods in and brings its warmth

promise me none of this is gonna fade away

its finally time for a brand new day

A brand new day full of friends and warmth

keep them close and you will always feel this way

yes its finally time for a brand new day

50th post!!

Well this is indeed my 50th blog post, and as an added bonus this post is being posted from Boston, MA. I am staying ate the Boston Park Plaza Hotel and Towers (on the 12th floor!).
So far this week I've been on a teen/adult advisory board for Shire pharmaceutical (shh! Can't say too much on what we discussed), but I can say that it was fun, and I got to meet some great people, some who I had met at a previous meeting a few years ago, so it was good to see them again.
Also the National MPS Society family conference is going on as well. I got to see my nurse Heather, and Dr. Munzer (the doctor who was in charge when I was in the clinical trial.
There is a lot planned for the rest of the week, (don't head home until Monday) including a duckboat tour lol. However, it is cool getting to see all the other MPS patients all together in one place.
So honestly this is a pretty good time for the 50th post, definitely have a lot going on tie with it.

Can you hear me now?

    Well today went over really well!! got a pair of loaner hearing aids (really NICE hearing aids by the way), and we got my new ones ordered, they won't be as nice as the ones I'm using until mine are approved and arrive, but they should be a huge difference from my old ones.

    So now I can hear a pen drop lol, its kinda odd because now that I have two hearing aids again everything is a lot louder than I'm used to, but hey I can hear so I'm grateful! 

    And I got them just in time for my trip to Boston, I'm really happy about that, now I should be able to hear everyone when we are having discussions, or when I'm being asked a question, and not just nod my head when I think its the appropriate time lol.

Braces are off!!

Probably should have posted this Friday, but yes braces are off!!! As a bonus, I do not have any stain marks on my teeth.
I do have to wear a retainer all the time, and they will check them in 6 months (ok kinda a bummer), but the braces are off!!
Getting them off honestly hurt, felt like they were trying to pull my teeth out.
But yeah no more braces!

Getting Ready 4 Boston

    Alright so its late lol, and I can hardly wait till tuesday, thats when I'll be boarding the plane in the AM, and heading to Boston, MA.
    So what am I doing now you ask? Well, I'm currently going over everything I will need to take, I've gotten my book "Impulse" by Ellen Hopkins. I have got my iPhone so there is music, and games lol. Mostly I've just got to get all my clothes together, (and get some washed lol).

    On another completely different note, I just watched the film "Forget me not" it was a scary flick, but light scary honestly. I really liked it. Plus it was a good eye opener on being careful how you treat people.

And they said...

    They told me I'd be dead by age 13 if not sooner, They said that I would never survive the requirements of school, or even make it in school for that matter, They said I would lose my walking ability permanently, Some said I would never be physically active, Some said my life was an easy life, 

    Well you know what? I am 20 years old, and still kicking. Not only did I "survive" the requirements of school but I graduated High School with honors, and currently am enrolled in College. I use a wheelchair 0% of the time, the rest is with a walker or on my own. As for the physically active I've don rock walls, zip lines, mud trails, so yeah think I have the ability to be active. Easy? Ha I've worked my butt off to get where I am now, school? I went 3 days a week, and half days at that, and still managed to graduate with honors, the walking thing wasn't a snap your fingers, I had to practice for over a year and build my stamina up, and it was hard I currently go to physical therapy to help as well. Also you wanna go through all the medical stuff I've went through? I honestly wouldn't wish everything I've been through on my worst enemy. Everything that I've went through God has been right there to help me through the labyrinth.

    The main reason for this post, is I'm tired of having to prove myself, I feel that I do over, and over, but its never enough, someone always finds and points out a flaw. If you tell me that I can't do something based on the way you judge me, I usually try to prove you wrong, and most of the time succeed. Honestly it is hard to prove yourself, but I know that sometimes you honestly just have to. 

Remember most people have more going for them than meets the eye.

Cut the strings, or not?

    Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just cut someone out of your life completely, never go to them for anything, or talk to them ever again. Part of me thinks that its possible just grab everything thats yours, and has no connection to that other person then just leave. However, then you notice if you cut this person out, does it mean you have to do the other person, or anyone that they are associated with? Also what if that person is someone you turn to in times of need, can you really get by without their help? Then you have to think why am I cutting this person out of my life? Is it due from anger, someone wronged you, and you just can't stand to be near them anymore due to lack of trust? Is it fear, they are nice most of the time, but when you slip up one time do you cringe while they are flared up? Or is it just because you wanna prove you can do things on your own?

    I see both half's to this dilemma, their are good effects as well as bad effects from this kind of decision. And I guess basically it comes down to, how much can you handle, and which scenario would be worse? Sometimes do we not cut the strings just so that we can keep getting by? Therefore using the other person? Also once you cut someone out, its nearly impossible to get/let them back in.

    So I guess I'll wait for the storm to pass, and see how much damage just has been done before I decide whether or not to cut the strings.

Horror films

Ok why I watch horror films I have no idea, I know they freak me out, but I still watch them lol. For example last night my friend, and I watch Scream4, safe to say I didn't go to sleep until the sun came up, now I'm watching Scream2, and possibly Scream3 lol. I enjoy them I really do, its just the after effect when the movies over, and your just in your room alone at night, and things get creepy.
Scary movies are fun, but not when your alone, and its dark haha.

Talking to the wind

    It's pretty late tonight, but no matter how hard I try I honestly just can't seem to fall asleep, so I thought a post would be good use of my time.

Honestly I feel like that sometimes I'm just talking to the wind, because it feels like not many people are there. When I reach out for someone, they just disappear like they were only just an illusion. After that happens so many times I think I'm in the right thinking that somethings not right or fair. A saying comes to mind. 

"We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person doesn't care at all" 

    Now don't get me wrong, I'll never quit reaching out, but the sting does get harder each time things fall through. I know people care, but honestly at times it feels like no one is there.

Sometimes I think I'm just talking to the wind, because it is the only thing that will listen to me. I mean just this year so many bridges have been burned, only I wasn't the one who lit the matches, just the one who was walking across, and stumbled onto the flames. Then theres the fact that the people that I normally trust the most seem to not need me either. Things are honestly just falling apart around me, and I'm at that point where I'm just watching the ruins crumble.

    I truly know things will get better, and God is standing here with me, but its just having to get through it to the end that is the difficult part.

So yeah tonight, I'm just talking to the wind

Disney Vinylmation

Disney Vinylmation is one of the newer things that disney is offering, they are similar to the disney trading pins because you can trade these items as well. Most are 3inches tall and the majority of them are in the shape of a mickey mouse figure, however they come in many designs, colors, and characters. Each one has the artist signature on its foot, proving it is an authentic Disney Vinylmation. Collecting is fun because you can get your favorite characters, or the ones that you like, you can get a complete series set, or just try to collect your favorites. Most are mystery box style, where you know you will get one out of twelve, but you don't know just which one. Others are open box, where you see exactly which Vinylmation you are getting. There are also 9inch ones that are usually limited edition, as well as 1.5inches. 

In my opinion they are neat little things to collect and trade. (however not sure I wanna trade any of the ones I have honestly lol, really like the start of my collection)

Second Poetry Post ~One Day~

-One Day-

one day maybe i will be able to take off this mask

one day maybe i will be able to forget the past

i feel like i’m going nowhere

while everyone seems to be going somewhere

why can i not get over you

no matter how hard i try

i just cant seem to break through

why do i have to feel this way

why can i not forget that day

the day you made me run away

how did i let this start to control me

when will i finally be set free

my life has slowly slipped away from me

now i am a face that no one sees

missing you terribly everyday

and late at night i wonder just exactly what do i miss

i know you play a role in all of this

but could there be something more

something that might give me bliss

come on now you cant deny it

all of this from your eyes was such a riot

Manipulative Manipulation

One thing I can't stand is being manipulated by someone, being a pawn that someone can discard when it's no longer useful to them. To manipulate someone is to be toying with people's emotions, and that's just low.
I know people who have been manipulated as well as been manipulated myself, and let me just say there aren't many things worse than that moment where you realize that you've been used. Today it just seems like there are so many lies, secrets, and manipulation in this world it's hard to know just who to trust, and as for me once you use me, you lost what ever trust I had in you.
I'm pretty sure it's like that for a lot of people.

Happy 4th of July!!!

Well it's fourth of july, and honestly today I don't have any plans haha. You see last Saturday night I went to a party with a new friend, and it was fourth of July themed, and we had some legal fireworks (it was honestly A LOT of fun).  Then this Saturday the 7th, is my grandmothers birthday, and were having our annual 4th of july part/birthday party for her. Its always a lot of fun, this year were hosting at my dads house which will be different lol.
So for the actual fourth, seems like it will be a day to rest, which I'm not gonna turn down.

Hope everyone no matter what your plans may be has an awesome Fourth of July!!!

July kicks up the heat

    Well idk about you but it's been a scorcher for the last few days on my end, never seems to drop below 100 degrees. Seems like July decided to bring a heat wave with it. Honestly I'm not big on the heat in more incline to the colder season.
    So what's up you wonder? Honestly a lot lol, been branching out, made some new friends, found out that braces will be coming off the 20th of this month!!!!
So things are definitely kicking up in more than just ways of the temperature you could say lol.
    Let's just wait and see what all July brings shall we? :)