Minor update

    Still tired at times, after school its not uncommon for me to sleep for four to five hours. As for math I'm still trying to understand it, not doing so great, but hopefully I will get the hang of it soon. I'm having to keep myself from stressing out, because what good is an education if your health is bad?

    As for my walking I don't want to jinx myself, but people have been telling me they have been seeing great improvements (able to stand up longer, and last walking longer). I'm still not perfect, but I'm getting close to normal. lol.

    *So I have decided to add some opinions post during the month of February. Basically I am planning on just just reviewing (in separate posts) books, movies, or music in hopes of both giving a bit more of my outlook at life, as well as a way to add more frequent posts to the blog.*

Quote pictures

Been slacking in the blogging this week, and for that I am sorry. However, to make up a little, I will post some of the quote pictures I have been making here lately.

These are just quotes that may make a gray day a little brighter.

2nd chance?

Do you ever wish you could go back in time, or maybe get the chance that you never had? Now I'm not saying changing the circumstances, but simply taking chances where you never did.

Where when you look back, and your like if you had maybe done this maybe things would have been different.

I know I wish I had been more open and inviting with people, but during high school I put up walls, and evaded people, and honestly I see that I missed out on a lot. My social skills suffered, I got so used to being alone. Now however I have people in my life who I care about, and I know they care about me, but when I'm alone I get that feeling of isolation. Part of it is the fact that I missed so much, and part is I don't want to lose these friends I have now.

I guess that I enjoy spending time with friends, but from all that I missed, I try to make up for. Resulting in feeling lonely when I'm alone. I think I honestly know they are sincerely friends, but I just don't want to go back to where I don't go out or have people over.

So yeah if I could make some changes I would. I would have been more outgoing. However, I would not change the fact of having MPS, because as I have said I've never blamed that for any if my problems "you have obstacles in your path simply go around them" a true statement that I apply to dealing with MPS

So I'm trying to be more outgoing now, but something holds me back at times. Will just have to see how things go.

Friendship

    You know I'm not sure I honestly know that much about friends. In my opinion a friend is someone who is there for you to lean on, as well as vice versa.

    Friendships require trust, which to me at times is funny because I know I'm always there for someone ( not trying to sound conceited), yet no matter how close someone gets to me I always seem to have this lingering feeling that something is gonna go wrong, and I will lose that person forever. I think that's one of my weakest points I always expect the worse will happen.

    I spent a lot of time by myself growing up by myself, and I got used to it being me and my books. However, now I'm starting to make friends (good friends), and times I feel awkward because the feeling of someone reaching out is still new. Acts of kindness, are like fire to ice, a drastic change. I probably overreact at times, but I know it's just because of the fear that one day I might be alone again.

    The friends I do have, I honestly treasure them because I couldn't have gotten better ones anywhere. Yet, doubts do surface from time to time like; do they just feel sorry for me? Why do they care, is it just a trick? I hate that those thoughts are there at times, but sadly I can't help them. I do however, notice that some friendships are getting stronger.

    Friendships do take time to grow, you can't expect one to bloom overnight, you have to go through life together, experience experiences together, good times as well as bad times, things that strengthen the friendship.

    "Some people are meant to be in your life forever, while others will just make an appearance" that is a quote that I've found out to be true, sadly I've learned it the hard way quite a few times before I learned the lesson.

    I may not know a lot about friendship, but I think I might just know enough now, in order to get through life, at least I hope so.

First week of 3rd college semester

Well the first week of this college semester has come to an end, and to be honest lol it literally drained a good amount of my energy. The class workload seems intense already, and I'm running myself ragged walking all over campus trying to sort all the accommodations out. Sadly I snapped today after I had got home, and had a mental breakdown from the stress, after I crashed on my bed and slept from 11am-5pm (this with a good nights rest before hand).
I think I'm learning all the steps however, it just takes me longer than others to complete the problems.
There are whispers in my head going "you can't take it, your not made for it" sometimes I wanna listen to them, but other times I just wanna take this bright little spark that fuels me to get up each morning and push forward, where I can in the end say "see what I can do!"
I'm happy the first week is over, maybe most of the glitches will get worked out soon, on bright side I didn't fall, or walk into a door this time around lol, so that's a positive!

Through the looking glass

    I have to say that Alice through the looking glass was always a favorite story of mine. Plus it's an interesting concept if you think about it, wouldn't you agree? To be able to just go through a mirror to escape this worlds realities, and enter your fantasies. I think we all do that from time to time, true we may not all end up in wonderland, but we try to avoid our everyday trials of life by retreating to our fantasies. While it can be fun to just get away, we have to remember that in actuality our fantasies are just that, fantasies. What we need is to simply try, and bring those fantasies into reality. Because even Alice found herself back from wonderland at the end of the tale, and even though for awhile she was able to escape her troubles, they were there waiting for her return.

    If you don't like your reality, Change it, everyone has the power to change their life, no one can dictate how you will turn out, it just takes a person getting up and doing something about his, or her own life.

    So enjoy gazing into the looking glass for as long as you want, just remember your life is always waiting for you to take control.