Ok so sometimes I can be.. kinda shy. I also know that can come off as me looking shallow, and uncaring, but I'm not either of those things (at least I don't see myself that way). For me being apart of a group is hard at times because sometimes I just feel like I'm trying to push myself into somewhere where I'm not wanted, or where I don't really belong. I guess I'm quiet so that I don't draw attention to myself, and end up hurt. I've had some really bad experiences with trust, (more than one easy) and they all were the same. I met someone we clicked and things went good for awhile, I opened up, and started to trust, then out of the blue their just gone. I fell and there was no parachute you could say. Each time is definitely a little harder than the last, and like anyone would I think "why should I put myself back out there to try again when it could happen all over?".
The reason is that I have made good friends as well, (really good friends, at least I hope thats how they feel) so I do still see that benefits from testing the waters. Besides in life theres gonna be good times and bad times. So thats a part of the reason that I'm shy. Not that I think I'm better, not that I don't wanna be your friend, and not that I'm anti-social, but because I just don't want to end up falling again without a parachute to save me.
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