Changing my approach

    Alright so today has had a lot of ups, and downs. I went to treatment as normal, but after I went to Sylvan learning where I'm was trying to see if they could help with my math. Basically they can, but it would take longer than I had hoped. Now before I continue let me interrupt to just say that my stress levels have been through the roof. My health has been affected. My mood has been affected. I've been stretching myself as far has humanely possible, and honestly I think at times i tried too much. This evening I hit my boiling point, and broke down. I have been trying so hard to get this math down for years now, and I'm like I'm putting so much time and energy into this one part, and its not even helping my future, its doing nothing but stressing me out. So I decided to change my approach.

    Am I planning on quitting school? NO!!! however, I am planning on dropping the class I'm taking and looking into colleges that offer continuing education writing programs, so that I can go to school, and actually enjoy it as well as apply it to my future.

    Some reasons I have been so hesitant to do this sooner, DSC (Dalton State College) has gotten a good sum of $$ from me and my family, and I felt, and still feel bad about just tossing that away, but I'm looking at it now like I still learnt some things so it was not a waste. The second reason was, and is I'm scared how people will see me. I'm scared they will look at me like I failed, like I gave up, like I quit. I don't want to lose peoples respect, some more than others, but still it would hurt so much to think that I disappointed, or let someone I care about down.

    I am doing this for me, when your health is getting affected thats a flare saying hey you need to change something. I have to realize due to my medical stuff I do have limitations, but I shouldn't feel bad, because like I said I'm not quitting I'm simply changing my approach on how to get to the finish line for my goal. Nothing wrong at all with that.

I'm now going to go to school for creative writing a good stepping stone I think for becoming a writer.