Outside looking in

    I'll be honest at times I feel like I'm on the outside looking in, and it's probably due to my lack of ability to trust others. If you've read previous posts you'll know that I've been burned before, so I do have my reasons. Being with a group of people, but still feeling like no one's there is an awful feeling, one that I wouldn't wish on anyone. With some people still finding yourself asking yourself the question "are we friends?" not because theres any problems, but just because you feel like there is wall up between you, and them. Now when you start putting walls up yourself to protect yourself from getting hurt, it may seem like it helps, but honestly it just makes pushing people away more natural (something that should never be natural).  Now for those of you who don't have this little problem, or at least not as huge a degree as others, you should try to include people in your activities. Don't however just wear a mask of kindness when it suits you, be there and make them feel welcome (you can never have too many friends).

    One thing everyone should know is People need People, its a fact of life, it will never change. You never know the person you said hi to, well that might have just been the highlight of their day.

    Don't make people feel like their on the outside looking in, try to imagine whats thats like, and if you've been there why would you want to put someone else there?

A pictures worth a thousand words

    People say a picture is worth a thousand words, and you know I have to agree with that particular saying. Another thing that I enjoy is photography. I feel like with photography, yes you capture moments, but you capture them from your own personal view. This particular photo was taken on an amazing trip that I took this year in Snowshoe, WV with Rock Bridge Student Ministry. This one picture helps me remember everything about that trip, and thats what I like about photography. You don't only capture moments, you preserve memories. With one photo you can tell a whole story. So its really true a picture is worth a thousand words.

Birthday blues part two

   Ok so blues isn't the best way to describe how my birthday went/is going lol, but I figured it would be best to keep same title and just add part two since they are continued.
Well it went over a lot different than I thought it would. Tuesday night my dad and step-mom surprised me late that night with a small party and gift since I wouldn't be with them on my actual birthday. On my birthday my friend Kala took me to lunch, and then that night my friends Emily, and Mikayla tried to creep on me ( heard none of it lol) then we went to eat late that night.
That morning however, my phone had so many texts and calls.. Sadly right after I replied to the first one I lost my phone.. While I was surprised at a couple of people I didn't hear anything at all from, I was even more surprised by someone I did hear from (talk about out of the blue!)
    The next day at treatment my nurses and Miss Ashley celebrated my birthday at the hospital :) they decorated my infusion room with balloons, and a banner. Plus they all sang and gave me a card which they all had signed.
     Tonight I'm going out with my grandma, one of my most loved cousins Gracie, and my dad, and step-mom. (where?.. Not sure was supposed to have decided last night lol) Then tomorrow night(saturday) I'm going out with mother, and a lot of my family at olive garden in Chattanooga.
So lol my birthday is still going on (birth-week as I keep calling it) but it also has had so much already, lots of fun, but also a little drama
-just the way I like it haha!-

Birthday Blues

    Well April 18th is my birthday, my 20th to be precise, and its only just three days away. Now most people would be excited for that day, I however can't seem to get into the birthday spirit. The reason being I've had a lot of stuff happening at the same time all piling up on me. For starters I've been trying to organize an awareness day (MPS day), and I've finally gotten most of that worked out (just lots of phone calls and money). Then theres the fact that I received hate mail a few weeks ago, and the contents inside were truly just mean, and hurtful. Also I managed to lose all eligibility for finical aid, so thats a stress hanging like a black cloud over my head. Lastly it looks like once again someone who I considered a really good friend didn't feel the same, for its been over a month and I haven't seen or heard from the said person (No name dropping), but that last one I think has effected me the most, I've experienced this before a couple of times, and honestly it just gets worse each time.
    So now maybe you can see why I'm not quite in the birthday spirit,  but who knows maybe in the next three days something will change.
You never know.