It's funny how out of the blue, things can change. Whether it be how you feel about things, or different events that may come to be. Like for instance my mood, I've been better at not feeling down at times, but like now out of the blue, for no reason I just get this empty feeling, like something is missing. I hate this feeling it holds me back by increasing my insecurities, making me think there is no point in trying to be friends, or trying to do something, because there is no way it could ever work, like I'm not worth it.
And as for the events that come out of the blue? How is having to have a surgery December 10th? That out of the blue enough for ya? Am I nervous? Yeah kinda.. ok allot lol. However, more or less just being put to sleep, and having to be in the operating room. I know that I have people who care about me, and I'm so grateful for them (they probably have no idea just how grateful I am), but this feeling is trying to cloud that in my mind.
It will pass it always does, but on those out of the blue times it still isn't the greatest feeling to have.
The prep for surgery is one of the scariest, but I am sure that you have a fantastic team behind you that is going to do everything they can to make sure you have a safe and smooth surgery. I bet this isn't the worst surgery that you have had, but it's the most current. Don't be consumed by the fear. Look forward to all the great things that will happen afterward.
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