Ok so sometimes I can be.. kinda shy. I also know that can come off as me looking shallow, and uncaring, but I'm not either of those things (at least I don't see myself that way). For me being apart of a group is hard at times because sometimes I just feel like I'm trying to push myself into somewhere where I'm not wanted, or where I don't really belong. I guess I'm quiet so that I don't draw attention to myself, and end up hurt. I've had some really bad experiences with trust, (more than one easy) and they all were the same. I met someone we clicked and things went good for awhile, I opened up, and started to trust, then out of the blue their just gone. I fell and there was no parachute you could say. Each time is definitely a little harder than the last, and like anyone would I think "why should I put myself back out there to try again when it could happen all over?".
The reason is that I have made good friends as well, (really good friends, at least I hope thats how they feel) so I do still see that benefits from testing the waters. Besides in life theres gonna be good times and bad times. So thats a part of the reason that I'm shy. Not that I think I'm better, not that I don't wanna be your friend, and not that I'm anti-social, but because I just don't want to end up falling again without a parachute to save me.
Have you ever wanted to be yourself, just wanted to find your own voice, and be able to speak your mind? However, you think it's just not always that easy to be open in front of other people? Well I feel the exact same way, and I bet a lot of people do. So, this blog is where i've found my voice. I found a way to express my thoughts through writing, you'll either love me or you'll just keep going on to the next blog, but if you think people should be themselves, you just might enjoy this blog.
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